Cubs Kick the living Crap Outta Nat's!

The Cubbies exploded for 11 runs against the Nationals, while Jeff Samarddbfefhf9v pitched a complete game shutout last night in a game I wasn't at.  Two homers each by Nate Schierholtz and Donnie Murphy, plus a ton clutch hits and excellent baserunning won the day, but.....Damn you!  I went to every loss on this home stand.  I suffered through a sweep at the hands of the Reds, and had to babysit my sister's kids during the Cubs only win against St. Louis.  In those 4 games I did attend, you scored a total of 5 runs.  And then last night, when I had something else to do, a sound design job at the Trap Door Theater for "The Balcony" which opens September 5th, (plug plug), you score 11 runs, and hit five dingers, and I missed it all.  Thanks a lot!  This is how you reward your loyal fans, by winning when they're not there?  Ugghhh...

Oh well, I guess I should be happy the Cubs won, especially because my best friend, Johnny Onomatopoeia, who hails from the DC area is gonna be pissed.  I should have placed a wager on this series with him, but the last time we wagered.... we had a weight loss competition before meeting in Vegas over the winter holiday's.  I won (but didn't keep the weight off, he did), and the loser was to play a half hour of craps in drag, but two things happened.  A.  We couldn't find a decently priced dress big enough for him, and B. He was arrested and pepper sprayed by the Vegas PD after getting sucker punched by a bouncer, and calling the cops on himself.  Needless to say, I am now a bit sheepish in asking Johnny to wager again, seems to be some bad luck strewn in there.  Besides, we kicked the crap out of the Cardinals in the first game of the last series, and then got basically shutout for the next 18 innings.  Well....we scored 1, which still sucks.  That could very well happen here.  The Cubs totally blew their wad in game 1 of the series, and then nothing....when I'm at Wrigley....

In other news, the Cubs did execute one of my least favorite transactions yesterday.  They traded David DeJesus to the Nationals for a player to be named later.  There's no payoff!  PTBNL?  By the time we find out who we got, the NFL playoffs will be on , and no one will care.  This is just a salary dump anyway.  And now the team will consist of people you never heard of.  It's not even 40 man roster time yet!  The Cubs already look like the Kane County Cougars! 

 I wonder if the Cubs let him dress at his old locker?  

From one crappy team, to another slightly less crappy team.  I wrote one of my favorite parody articles for Bleed Cubbie Blue's Fan Posts section about David DeJesus.  It's Funny.  Or at least I think it is....

Speaking of Cougars!

The sad thing is, David DeJesus's hot wife will no longer be a Cub Wife.  She was by far the hottest of the wives.  At least in a traditional sense of hot.  You know, breasts and butt and a pretty face.  Not obese.  You know, the kinda girl straight guys go for.  

Anyway, bye bye David!  It was not fun losing 100 games a year with you on the team, but at least you did a halfway decent job as a stop gap measure.  I will miss drunkenly yelling "let's go Jesus!!!!" when you come to bat.  Farewell, "Of Jesus", have fun trying to get the Nationals to .500, because they ain't winning shizznit this year.  

Well, the Cubs better do something tonight too.  Hitting 5 homers would be cool, as I'll be in the Bleachers, and have yet to catch a ball....ever.....would be nice to catch a homer.  I would go early and catch batting practice, but I gotta see a man about a horse before the game.  For those of you not in the know, that means, I got crap to do that I don't want to share on a Cubs blog.  Yes, even Son Ranto has a private life.  Not much of one, but it exists.  Actually, not much of a life in general, especially after September 29th, when I have to suffer through 5-6 months of terrible baseball longing.  You'd think I'd be more suicidal watching the Cubs during baseball season, but somehow, the pain of being a daily Cubs fan gets me through, and when I don't have them to kick around, I kick myself around.  Maybe I'll go to the Dominican and watch some winter ball to stave off my baseball deprivation and seasonal depression.  

But Tonight!

The Cubs new lefty phenom Chris Rusin goes against veteran Dan Haren.  It should be a kick arse game as long as the blasted mosquitos stay off of my jock. I'm covered in welts!  Convinced I have west nile virus or bed bugs, but it's probably just a hangover.  

Go Cubbies!

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Cubs Get Dirty Sanchezed

Ok.  So it's not totally Eduardo Sanchez's fault that the Cubs lost in the 11th inning yesterday, but his 3 walks and 1 hit allowed that resulted in 2 runs certainly didn't help matters either.  The Cubs battled back in this one too, tying it up in the 7th.  The bullpen, except Sanchez was decent, not allowing a single run in 4 innings of work.  The Cubs had a few opportunities to win this one, but unfortunately, the league has found out that Junior Lake can't hit a breaking ball.  At least last night he couldn't.  Weakness found.  Batting average lowered.  Hopefully not to the point of a Rizzo or Castro who are batting .234 and .247 respectively.  Even David DeJesus is only batting .255 right now, and Darwin Barney, a lowly .214.  This is why the Cubs lost yesterday.  Our "good" players aren't that good.  Our "mediocre" players are decent though.  Good enough to sock a couple of homers yesterday, thank you Dionner Navarro, Nate Schierholtz and Donnie Murphy.  Maybe we should be like the Rays and field mostly players you never heard of.  I'm sure most fans in other cities, and Chicago for that matter, have never heard of half the Cubs players.  Except for Starlin, Rizzo, and las nights pitcher, Smardzierfn0`hr0new.  And those 3 gentlemen are sorely underperforming.  

Let's talk about Jeff Samalnf3hf4rhfjk for a second.  He is supposedly the Cub's #1 pitcher, though at this point, he's pitching like a 3 or 4, and is not under a long term contract.  He got hit hard last night, and had to use a lot of pitches, 110 through 6 to be exact.  He gave up 4 walks, 6 hits, and 4 runs.  And his ERA currently stands at 4.29.  He's a competitor, and I like him, I really do, but he is a #3 starter, period.  He can show you glimpses of being better than that.  But over the long haul.  He is by no means a dominant pitcher.  He's solid, and hasn't been hurt, but he's not an Ace.  My opinion is that he's thrust himself into a leadership role, and puts too much pressure on himself to perform like an Ace, but he's not one.  This is not good, as false expectations usually lead to failure.  His job is to get guys out, period.  But he wants to be some sort of team leader, which louses up his focus on the field.  The problem is, after trading Garza and Feldman, we need him.  But we need him to be a good solid number 3, not the Ace people think he might be.  Because he's not.  He just isn't.  

As far as Wrigley goes last night, I got twisted up on Gin and Tonics, and it was cold.  As in, I had to wear my relief pitchers coat cold.  It's not even the middle of August, and I'm already cold at Wrigley.  And to make matters worse, I'm already getting my fall allergies which usually don't come until September.  Why did I move to this God Forsaken Tundra!!!????  Oh yeah, right...the Cubs....

Well, today, some folks and I will be in section 420 (smoke em if you got em) to hopefully watch the Cubs try and salvage a game out of this so far abysmal series.  A real let down after taking 2-3 from the Cardinals.  It's Arroyo vs. Rusin.  Haven't seen Rusin pitch in person yet.  So this should be cool, because he's a pretty damn good lefty.  Better than Samjjfno34hr9hf by a full point Era wise anyway.  Both teams bullpens are taxed after yesterday's extra inning fiasco, so this should be a magical afternoon for baseball.  At least it will be warmer in the daytime.  For now.  Welcome to Augtober Cubs fans.  

Damned frozen tundra of a city.....

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One of each please....

Boring Cubs Game; No Runs, No Fun!

It all started with one of the worst anthem's I've ever heard....

A waste of an anthem, a waste of a great start by Travis Wood, and a waste of 2 hours and 27 minutes by me.  Plus the 39$ I spent getting drunk at the Captain Morgans Club on Gin and Soda.  You got my 40$ Cubbies.  Wanna spend it on someone who can actually hit?  In the end, the Cubs collected 6 hits, and struck out 12 times.  And of course they lost the game 2-0.  Yawn.

The only positive I can give about this game, is that it was a beautiful night to be at Wrigley Field.  Twitter was a fine companion, and I got a ton of great pictures of the old girl as the sun set over one of the most boring games I've ever been too.  At a point, I couldn't tell if I was watching a pitchers duel, or if the Cubs just plum suck at hitting.  I think it was a little of both.  Either way, I was bored, and then drunk, and then drunk and bored.  Of all games to go to by myself....ergh...

The Sun goes down over Chicago, as Travis Wood Strikes em out!

Love Birds at Wrigley.

We coulda used Billy's bat last night...

The "D" stands for Dull...as in this game was duuuullllll.....

Night.

The only one of these buttons that actually works....

A view from the bike racks....

Billy Cub still perpetrating mascot activities....what part of "cease and desist" do you not understand?

Well, we'll just have to win tonight.  Homer Baily 7-10, 3.73 goes against Jeff Samarejbv984hr, 6-11, 4.23.  Of course, the Cubs are gonna need to score to win.  That's how baseball works.  

And tonight, the Cubs will be honoring Ernie Banks at a pregame ceremony. Ernie will be given the presidential medal of freedom.  Not sure what Ernie did except be a great guy who hit a bunch of home runs, and uttered the memorable catch phrase "Let's Play Two".  But hooray!  Maybe Obama will be a Cubs fan now because the Sox suck so bad.  

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Cubs Win the Game; Lose Players

In what will prove to be the most bittersweet "W" of the year, the Cubs beat the Phillies 5-2, with 4 of the runs coming on 2 Donnie Murphy Homers, but the Northsiders also lost 2 players in an ugly 7th inning.  Thomas Neal went down in a heap in his 1st start as a Cub with a dislocated shoulder.  (I guess we all just found out why the Yankees released him).

While Dionner Navarro, only a few minutes later was mowed over by Chase Utley for a game saving out at the plate.

Which resulted in this....

And then this....

This is the face of a man who's season might be over.  Anyone got a catcher they can spare for today's day game?

Dionner has a Right ankle sprain, no fractures thank Jeebus, and Neal's shoulder popped out.  Both injuries could have been much worse.  Think Buster Posey and his year ending broken ankle a few years back.  Either way, both these injuries are a blow to a Cubs team who has already used 50 players in this season, having sold high during the trade deadline sweepstakes.  And now, I have to listen to my mother, complain about how she doesn't know the players anymore....thanks Theo and Jed....

So, say "Welcome Back" to Julio Borbon or Dave Sappelt, and some catcher from the minors, because that's what the team's gonna be now....Ugh...not good.

But I don't want to dwell on the negative too long, because the Cubs actually won this game, thanks to Donnie Murphy's 3 run blast in the 9th inning, breaking a 2-2 tie.  In his 3rd game as a Cub, the veteran socked his second homer of the game into the Left field bleachers, knocking in what proved to be the game winning run.  You got to hand it to Theo and Jed, finding these place holders like Murphy to take over spots for injured players, and excel at the opportunity.  But my Mom still doesn't know who the hell they are...just saying...again...

Junior Lake, everybody's new favorite Cub, is also batting .333, and went 2-4 last night.  He now has 84 at bats in the bigs, which is about 1/5 of a season.  Not the smallest sample size to judge him by, but we've all seen prospects come out swinging, only to fade once the pitchers figure him out.  Lake is a free and aggressive swinger like Starlin Castro.  So just wait till the "Cubs Way" gets a hold of him, and they make him take pitches down the middle just to maybe draw a walk.  Yeah, he will probably suck then too, just like Castro sucks this year.  Batting .245 with only 7 dingers, a full 40 points lower than last year (which we all thought was his down year), and unless he goes on a tear with the home runs, he'll be lucky to hit 10, 4 less than last year.  Is Starlin a bust?

Rizzo was out of the lineup last night too.  He went 1-5 the night before and is only batting .240.  This is also not good.  It's a sad state of affairs when your catchers are batting better than your "prospects".  Unfortunately, one of those catchers bit the dust last night.  Let's hope he heals fast.  Dionner, if you read this, the Casino buffet's on me buddy...

Well, we have a good chance to win this series in Philadelphia, a city I loathe thoroughly.  Trust me, I lived there twice.  What can you say for a city whose claim to fame is a Pretzel that's not pretzel shaped, and a beef sandwich covered in Cheese Whiz?  Plus...they have the rudest fans...remember this guy?

Let's hope Shark Samarkbfoq3[4r09r can shut down the Phils' who are "throwing up". Ethan Martin, who is 0-1 with a 12.46 era.  Doesn't he look like the "barfer"?  I think so.  

Let's hope he  makes Philly fans vomit with his sickeningly bad performance against the Cubs today.  

Go Cubbies!

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