Washington DC is a city filled with wealthy do nothings who disappoint their constituencies on a regular basis by wielding power in ineffectual ways. Last night, there were 25 extra humans wearing blue in our nations capitol similarly ineffectually wielding power. They are called the Chicago Cubs, and I wouldn't vote for any of them for dog catcher if they were running for office. The Cubs wielded some power last night, collecting 7 doubles among their 10 hits, and yet managed only 3 runs in this game that mercifully lasted 2 hours and 23 minutes. The hapless Cubs went 2-14 with runners in scoring position, and an error by pitcher Jeff Samardzija led to the first 2 of Washington's 7 runs. Isn't it a kick in the pants that when the pitcher makes an error, he is not charged with earned runs on the play? Technically, the Shark allowed only 5 runs, but really, it was 7. All 7. In 5 innings. Shark tanked.
So, how else are the Chicago Cubs like the politicians that ubiquitously roam around DC looking for attention and favors from lobbyists and special interest groups? Well, the Cubs campaign slogan for one. Most politicians utilize buzz words like "freedom" or "moving forward", which really doesn't mean anything. Freedom to do what? Moving forward into what? Similarly, the Chicago Cubs' campaign slogan of this year, "Committed" is also an empty buzz word. Committed to what? Apparently, committed to leaving men on base. The boys in blue are batting only .181 with runners in scoring position, a full 28 points below the next closest cellar dweller, the Toronto Bluejays. We all had a good laugh over the "committed" slogan when it first came out because of the empty rhetoric inherent in the term. Like when someone says, "it is what it is". Well of course it is what it is. You didn't have to remind me that "it" is what "it" is. The only people that should be "committed" are the idiot fans like me that continue to suffer through these poorly played baseball games, both in the stands and on television. Yeah, committed to a mental institution, or some sort of baseball rehab. Yes, the Cubs are certainly committed to losing baseball games in frustrating ways, like a politician "moving forward", which usually means your rear end is gonna be left in the dust.
I've put a ton of blame on the management, IE Dale "please don't shoot me, I'm not a Quail" Sveum, and it resulted in this song that I wrote yesterday. So at least adversity breeds art....
Good things? Besides my awesome new song? Darwin Barney ended his 0 for 1,245,674 streak by hitting another useless Cub double with one out in the 9th. So, he's got to feel pretty good about that. Go Dar Bar! Skies the limit! Rizzo went 2-4. New Cub lefty, Ryan Sweeney went 2-3 against a left hander. Castro hit 2 doubles from the leadoff spot, and our relievers, Rondon, Fujikawa, and Camp actually held the Nats to 0 runs and 1 hit over 3 innings. They always seem to come through when the game is not on the line.
Bad things? Alfonso "how much longer on this contract?" Soriano went 0-4, as did Welington "my batting average is like water seeking it's level" Castillo. And Jeff Smadfebkvbkfbgebgvvzija basically sucked. Jeff's an emotional player, and I like that, except for that it makes him screw up. He was pretty terrible at controlling his emotions last night. It made him lose focus, and well, lose the game.
So, yes, the Cubs are Committed. Committed to being one of the worst teams in baseball. Committed to leaving runners on base. Committed to frustrating their fans. Committed to building a giant scoreboard at Wrigley Field, so we can watch them stink twice.
You can hear me and the Lovable Lou Sears complain all about it on the new podcast....
So, today, it's Edwin Jackson vs. Steven Strasburg at 3:05. This should be fun....
Go Cubbies!
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