Cubs Throwback Uni's Hilarious as Always

  It was throwback jersey day in Seattle yesterday, which means the players looked like they were wearing pajamas...I couldn't get over the idea that when these uni's were actually worn, no brown people would have been allowed to wear them.  Fashion aside, I find it strange to celebrate some false idyllic past, when the people playing wouldn't even have been allowed to play.  I'm over thinking it I know....but this guy...who hit the game winning homerun in the 11th inning....

Would not have been allowed to play with this guy....

Either way, these throwback Uni's were much better than some of the other ones I've seen gaudily hanging off the backs of the players...remember these?

I like the logo, but it was obvious there were no gays in baseball at the time.  As no self respecting gay man would ever let the midwestern blue of the batting helmet clash with that navy.  They look like long johns, all that's missing is the butt flap.

Or how about these?

Frankly, it looks like it says "UBS".  Obviously, a lack of graphic design budget in 1918.  Castro looks like he's about to go break rocks on a chain gang.  Not play baseball!  Also, if they're gonna do this throwback thing right.  They shouldn't allow wristbands and Under Armour anti perspiration gear.  All wool baby!  Starlin wouldn't make it through the second inning if he had to wear what this guy wore....

He'd just as soon lynch you as play baseball.  I heard he worked as a cattle driver in the off season.

Check out Soriano in the same Uni....All I can think of is Shawshank Redemption....give him a  white fro, a beard, and a great voice over voice and he's freaking Morgan Freeman!

Now, my favorite throwback Uni's, that is, the ones I find the most repulsive, and proof that history is best left in the past....are these....as I am still bitter about 1984, I'm gonna pick on the Padres....

Whoever designed these "Pee and Poo" colored uniforms needs to get their eyes checked and a pink slip.  Repulsive is too good a word for these uniforms.  If I were a shortstop on the opposing team, I'd make 5 errors that day because I wouldn't be able to stop giggling at how ridiculous the Padres looked.  

Well...since we're on the Uniform tip, and I don't feel like talking about the fact that the Cubs won 5-3 on a Soriano 2 run shot in the 11th, Kevin Gregg's first blown save, Bogusevic's bad defense, or Catro's "even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and again" home run...here's more hilarious uniforms!

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LSD was still legal then....

Hobbies:  Tanning beds, laundry, synchronized swimming

Ummmmm.....

You wanna knock boots?

The Eddie Munster....

Wow...just wow....

Cubs play the rubber match at 3 in Seattle.  In honor of Gay Pride, I think they should play in drag...Darwin Barney would look smashing in a dress!

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Cubs Lose While Son Ranto Fights a "Racialist"

While walking over the Blue Bridge, back to my car parked gratis in Covington, Kentucky,  I encountered a Reds fan coming back from the Cubs 5th straight loss.  Said Reds fan, white guy, 20's, skinnier than your average Ohian, was walking a few yards ahead of me and had some sort of encounter with another gentlemen of African heritage, and a confrontation began.  Nothing serious, just words exchanged, no one stopped.  Then, said white guy Reds fan dropped the "N" bomb, loud enough for the 20 or so thrifty people returning to their freely parked cars to hear.  This guy....see pic....

Who I stealthily photographed because of an hilarious asterisk on his Bonds* Jersey, called out to the "N" bomb dropper,  "Hey, I think that's getting, uh, a little racialist".  The racialist Reds fan continued to rant, personally insulting the guys Bonds* jersey, while continuing to drop "N" bombs like my Drunk Uncle at a Christmas Party.  With my legally sanctioned .07 inebriation in tow, I, Son Ranto stuck up for Bonds*, and said to the Racialist Red's fan, "Hey, I agree with him.  Think what you want, but STFU."  Racialist Red's fan's friend wanted the confrontation halted, and whispered to his friend to cut it out, but this set the Racialist off even more, and soon I was berated with  "N-lover" and "I bet you voted for Obama, who ruined this country!" I pointed out that this country has been ruined many times over by white guys, but he didn't want to hear it, and ended his tirade by saying that when I voted for Obama in 2008, I lost my "White Card".  First of all, I only lost half my White Card, because Obama is only half black.  Secondly, where exactly do I get this white Card?  Does it get me a discount at Steak and Shake?  Free tickets to shows in Branson, MO?  I told the guy to let me pass as he is slow, blocking my path, and I don't want to hear his crap anymore.  He continued to yell, but this was from 50 yards away now, and I headed to the car where I have pepper spray.  But alas, it was Fireworks Night at Great American Ballpark, and decided I'd rather enjoy myself watching the sky light up on the banks of the Ohio River, than pepper spray a racialist.  Actually, I think I'd enjoy the pepper spraying more, but it likely comes with consequences like assault charges and incarceration.  The fireworks were beautiful.

I'm not saying that Red's fans are racist.  Nor saying anything bad about Cincinnati or it's people.  Although, I did hear a Red's fan remark at Wrigley that Shin Soo Choo struck out because he couldn't see out of his squinty eyes.  I also yelled at that guy, but that's a story for another day.  Racism permeates our society at every level, but this surface racism, spewed publicly for everyone to hear is unacceptable, and I applaud Bonds* for at least saying something.  I applaud myself for sticking up for Bonds*, and I applaud the Cincinnati Reds for taking my mind temporarily off the encounter with a kick arse Fireworks Display.  

I spend a lot of time in Ballparks, hundreds of hours a year, and I hear lots of things that probably shouldn't be said in Public or mixed company, some of it, regrettably, from my own mouth.  But baseball is an international sport, whites, blacks, hispanics, asians, and miscellaneous mixes, all play together on one team to try and win for the city they represent.  Wouldn't it be nice if the fans acted accordingly and realized that we live in a country who's strength is built upon our diversity and cultural mixing.  Music, Cuisine and Sports, among other cultural institutions have benefited greatly from this diversity, and as fans and humans on this great big planet spinning haphazardly through outer space, there is no place for small thinking.  Not on a bridge over the Ohio river, not in a Baseball Stadium, and especially, not around a sleep deprived Son Ranto during a Cubs 5 game losing streak.

Now lets eat, dance with monsters, and enjoy the ballgame!

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