A Wrigley Field Guide to a Braves Celebration

Given that the Braves were beaten yesterday by the Cubs, and the Nationals were rained out, the Braves fans who traveled to Chicago to witness an on field celebration by their beloved team, will have to hold off their tomahawk chopping at least until today if they win, or tonight if the Nationals lose. 

 Much ado has been made about the Dodgers recent "pool party" celebration in Arizona.  Even presidential campaign loser and professional grumpy old man, Senator John McCain waded into the critical waters by tweeting....

  

If the Braves win today, how can they top the Dodger celebration at Wrigley?  The Budweiser Russian Baths won't be ready until after the revenue generating pedestrian mall and scoreboard are fully operational.  But there are ways the Braves can be just as disrespectful to our home park, and as a Chicagoan and Wrigley Field enthusiast, I have a few suggestions.

1.  Ride goats around the outfield in a victory lap.  Allowing the goats to stop and nibble on our beloved ivy.  

2.  Hit home runs to each other, and keep the ball.

3.  Put ketchup on their victory hot dogs.

4.  Sing root root root for the White Sox during the 7th inning stretch.

5.  Eat NY Style slices off of home plate.

6.  Install electronics in our beloved manually operated scoreboard.

7.  Cover our beloved Harry Caray statue in snow, reminding Chicagoans what a hard, cold winter we have ahead of us.

8.  Buy a rooftop on Waveland and let the fans in free. (17% of 0 is 0)

(This is the sign that's up there now, I took this pic yesterday....ugh)

9.  Let Greg Maddux pitch the 9th against us for the save.

10.  Install seat backs on the bleachers.

Of course, I hope the Braves lose today.  In fact, I always hope the Braves lose unless they're playing the Cardinals.  

Being the helpful Cubs' fans you are, I'm sure you have plenty more suggestions. Let's hear em!

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Awesome Fight in LA! Cubs Lose!

It really is not worth it to talk about last nights Cubs game, because it was the suckiest suck that ever sucked.  When I turned on the game in the top of the 6th, after returning from Dave and Busters, I thought I'd sit down to a nice 3-1 ballgame, and hangout with my Twitter friends, but alas.  Things changed and they changed fast.  The Reds scored 6, all charged to starter Matt Garza, who gave up, gulp, 9 runs total yesterday.  Despite the Cubs, ummm, 4 errors, all 9 runs were earned.  The Reds hit, damn, 4 home runs and 4 doubles.  And at the end of this game, the Cubs lost 9-2.  This is what happens when good teams play bad teams.  The bad teams get their, ouch, asses handed to them.  This game was nothing but a laugher.  Worst of all, Starlin Castro went 0-3, and is now batting, oh jeebus,  .240.

So, yeah, nothing about last nights Cubs game is worth talking about unless you're a Reds fan.  But....

Soooooo much more happened on the West Coast last night.  Awesome baseball fight!  It started in the 6th, when the Dodgers Puig was hit badly by the pitch.  I mean, this dude seems hurt.

An inning later, Dodger pitcher Zack Greinke was hit by a pitch!  Right in the face!

Then this happened.....

Pow!  Zap!  Bomph!!!

 Crack!  Bang!  Thwack!!!

Boom! Bop! Boing!!

I'm coming for you next ump!!! 

I will seriously stretch out your shirt!  Watch me! 

Break it up....break it...ahh...what the hell...fight! 

You smell!  No you do!   

 I know I'm short and bald, but I know Karate!

Eat Railing!

Ahhhh!!!! 

 You wanna see my shrunken balls?!

Fuggaitaboutit! 

The old butterfly shadow puppet....

Wanna see our pimp walk?

See, much better than talking about how Darwin Barney is batting .201, but for some reason is batting lead off, and Cody Ransom committed 3 of the cubs 4 errors, and Soriano strikes out, like, um, most of the time.  Yes.  The fight is more entertaining.

I'm going to Wrigley today, weather permitting, hopefully something like this awesome baseball fight will happen.  But I doubt it, the Cubs look dead.  Besides, Aroldis Chapman and Joey Votto  of the Reds could take like 5 Cubs each at a time.  We'd get beat in the game and the fight too....At least  Carlos Marmol would come in handy, he seems like he can fight.  

Anyway, the game's going to get rained out, but Mike Leake 5-3, 2.93 goes against Travis Wood, 5-4, 2.65.  These are two great hitting pitchers, and if we are going to win any games this series, it will likely be this one.  But alas, here come the rains....

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