Cubs Get Dirty Sanchezed

Ok.  So it's not totally Eduardo Sanchez's fault that the Cubs lost in the 11th inning yesterday, but his 3 walks and 1 hit allowed that resulted in 2 runs certainly didn't help matters either.  The Cubs battled back in this one too, tying it up in the 7th.  The bullpen, except Sanchez was decent, not allowing a single run in 4 innings of work.  The Cubs had a few opportunities to win this one, but unfortunately, the league has found out that Junior Lake can't hit a breaking ball.  At least last night he couldn't.  Weakness found.  Batting average lowered.  Hopefully not to the point of a Rizzo or Castro who are batting .234 and .247 respectively.  Even David DeJesus is only batting .255 right now, and Darwin Barney, a lowly .214.  This is why the Cubs lost yesterday.  Our "good" players aren't that good.  Our "mediocre" players are decent though.  Good enough to sock a couple of homers yesterday, thank you Dionner Navarro, Nate Schierholtz and Donnie Murphy.  Maybe we should be like the Rays and field mostly players you never heard of.  I'm sure most fans in other cities, and Chicago for that matter, have never heard of half the Cubs players.  Except for Starlin, Rizzo, and las nights pitcher, Smardzierfn0`hr0new.  And those 3 gentlemen are sorely underperforming.  

Let's talk about Jeff Samalnf3hf4rhfjk for a second.  He is supposedly the Cub's #1 pitcher, though at this point, he's pitching like a 3 or 4, and is not under a long term contract.  He got hit hard last night, and had to use a lot of pitches, 110 through 6 to be exact.  He gave up 4 walks, 6 hits, and 4 runs.  And his ERA currently stands at 4.29.  He's a competitor, and I like him, I really do, but he is a #3 starter, period.  He can show you glimpses of being better than that.  But over the long haul.  He is by no means a dominant pitcher.  He's solid, and hasn't been hurt, but he's not an Ace.  My opinion is that he's thrust himself into a leadership role, and puts too much pressure on himself to perform like an Ace, but he's not one.  This is not good, as false expectations usually lead to failure.  His job is to get guys out, period.  But he wants to be some sort of team leader, which louses up his focus on the field.  The problem is, after trading Garza and Feldman, we need him.  But we need him to be a good solid number 3, not the Ace people think he might be.  Because he's not.  He just isn't.  

As far as Wrigley goes last night, I got twisted up on Gin and Tonics, and it was cold.  As in, I had to wear my relief pitchers coat cold.  It's not even the middle of August, and I'm already cold at Wrigley.  And to make matters worse, I'm already getting my fall allergies which usually don't come until September.  Why did I move to this God Forsaken Tundra!!!????  Oh yeah, right...the Cubs....

Well, today, some folks and I will be in section 420 (smoke em if you got em) to hopefully watch the Cubs try and salvage a game out of this so far abysmal series.  A real let down after taking 2-3 from the Cardinals.  It's Arroyo vs. Rusin.  Haven't seen Rusin pitch in person yet.  So this should be cool, because he's a pretty damn good lefty.  Better than Samjjfno34hr9hf by a full point Era wise anyway.  Both teams bullpens are taxed after yesterday's extra inning fiasco, so this should be a magical afternoon for baseball.  At least it will be warmer in the daytime.  For now.  Welcome to Augtober Cubs fans.  

Damned frozen tundra of a city.....

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One of each please....

Cubsplosion!!!!!

 5 Home Runs!  Count em! 1-2-3-4-5!  For your 2013 Chicago Cubs last night!  Two by Soriano, who's been hot as a pistol, batting .390 with 7 homeruns and 16 RBI's in the last 10 games.  

A 3 run shot by Darwin Barney, who's been batting .132 during that same stretch. 

One by Starlin Castro, .256 with 2 dingers in the last 10.

 And one by Anthony Rizzo, .158 in the last 10 games.  

The Cubs overall have gone 7-3 in this last 10 game stretch.  So yes folks, we are in one of those coveted periods of a Cubs baseball season when Alfonso Soriano carries the team.  Let's hope the other 3 men follow suit.  We're all waiting for Barney, Rizzo and Castro to get it together.... But right now....It's Soriano time!!

And hilariously, it was all witnessed by this awesome mulleted man!  Here he is cheering for Soriano's first homer of the night!

I call this hairstyle, the "Coonskin Cap"!

What is all amounted to last night anyway, was 7 runs for the Cubs on 9 hits, while the Angels only managed 2 runs on a Poo Holes homerun, which I correctly predicted while walking to the ballpark.  Once a Cub killer.....you know the rest....But It was nice to hear the smattering of boos around Wrigley for Albert as he confidently strode to the plate.  Being such a damned muggy night in the confines last night didn't make it easy to boo or cheer, or make any sort of physical movement.  For once, I wished we had an air conditioned stadium like Miller Park.  So damned muggy, but I booed all the same.  I love booing Poo Holes.  It's cathartic, and a past time I am loathe to give up just because he's in the AL now.  Boooooooo......

The wind barely touched my neck as it blew down Waveland....cooling me down to a heat index of 106 degrees.....

Now, in the false reality, known as the Twitterverse, I'm seeing people actually complaining that the Cubs have been playing better baseball.  Ruining their draft chances, by being a middle of the pack team, instead of god awful team like the Marlins or Astros.  Let me tell you something.  The draft barely matters.  Lot's of high picks don't make the majors, and tons of low picks do.  Sure your chances might slightly increase with a super high pick, but until one of these kids puts on a major league uniform, you just don't know what you're going to get.  For example, have you ever heard of Ryan Harvey?  No?  Exactly.  He was picked #1 by the Cubs, 6th overall in 2003.  How bout someone you may have heard of, 2007's Josh Vitters,  who in his 99 MLB At Bats has hit .121 with 2 homeruns.  He's not tearing the cover off the ball in Iowa either, batting .270 with 3 dingers this year. Sure....we picked Shawon Dunston in 1982, but Vance Lovelace the year before, and Tony Woods the year after.  Who?  Exactly.  So for all you nay sayers who want to watch the Cubs suck so you can pick higher.  You're ridiculous.  What about creating a winning culture?  Some momentum towards the future?  That is just as important as anything.  Rizzo and Castro are having terrible years.  What's going to pick them up off the ground?  A draft pick?  No.  Winning, winning and more winning.  I for one hope we get back to .500.  Everyone picked us to finish last this year.  Screw em! I hope we finish 3rd because the Cardinals go on a 53 game losing streak.  Draft picks don't win championships.  Winning teams do.  Period.  

Winning teams tend to have a healthy mix of youth with experience, veterans, and a hotshot rookie or two.  It's about balance, culture, focus, and execution.  How will the Cubs achieve this?  Well, youth with experience.  Castro, Rizzo, Barney.  Veterans?  Who knows?  Stick with Schierholz?  DeJesus? Soriano?  The man can obviously still hit.  And his fielding has genuinely improved.  Question is, will he take less money, like a 1987 Dawson contract.  And who will the hot shot rookie be?   Baez? Almora? Who the hell knows?  Draft pick Shmaft pick.

More winning baseball to come tonight!  CJ wilson, 8-6, 3.49 vs Jeff Samarefbvjhwev$#6njn, 5-8, 3.54.  On paper, they beat us by .05 runs.  I'll be there as long as I can hook up 10$ seats.  Feeling cheap these days....or broke...both...but if all goes well with Stub Hub...I'll be doing this later....

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Cubs Beat Astros. Excited yet?

The wind was howling out to left field after a 3 hour thunderstorm delay, which I waited out in my apartment ,playing guitar and eating hot dogs.  The rain stopped, rode my bike under the El tracks as to avoid the cars that were all managing to spray me as they drove by on Montrose.  I grabbed the single seater next to the left wall in terrace reserved.  But as the players warmed up, the wind died, and my reason for sitting there, to catch a wind blown foul ball, died with it.  

My reason for going to this game was that I thought the Cubs would win, which they did 3-1.  But as I moved around the ballpark, watching the game from a new seat every time I bought a Becks Saphire, I still found myself disappointed at the Cubs lack of effort, execution, and focus.  Well, not everybody....I'll start with the positives...

Darwin Barney was a triple away from the cycle.  Which means yes, he hit a home run!

I like the catchers new Ford shinguard...

Anthony Rizzo went 2-4, and also hit a dinger...

Wow!  The pitcher has a Ford backpack!

And Matt Garza pitched pretty darn great.  8 innings, 4 hits, 1 run, 8 ks....

But Garza is also the perfect transition to talking about what's wrong with this Cubs team.  

Why can't Garza throw the ball to first base?  I mean, go see a hypnotist or something in the off season!  

Why is Matt Garza picking up a baseball one of the scariest things that can happen in the major leagues.  He's got the yips bad.  I can see in my minds eye, in the 7th game of the 2015 World Series, Garza throwing a ball away in the top of the 7th, leading to a huge rally, and we all sob through Take Me Out to the Ball Game.  Seriously Matt...hypnotist!  

Here's someone else who needs a hypnotist.  Starlin freaking Castro.  

Dear Starlin, I understand you're frustrated, but now your just coming off like some kind of entitled baby jerk.  It's obvious to all of us that you are not a scrapper, a down and dirty, tough as nails player.  You're a pretty boy, and you're not dealing with the first big slump of your career with any grace or dignity.  Here's a little peek into Castro's day.

The Strike Out, leading to the.....

Fake bat break, leading to the...

Throwing error....leading to the...

The called third strike, leading to the...

The Sulk....leading to....

A Double!  Lost in the Ivy!!! Leading to....

Scott Hairston picked off First, leading to...

Castro trying to steal home!!!! Leading too...

Umm...why exactly didn't you slide?  

Probably because he doesn't want to get his pants dirty.  

I understand that players go through slumps, and that its frustrating, bu the lack of fire in Castro's belly really annoys the crap outta me.  You're getting millions of dollars to play a kids game, and Castro is in many respects still a kid.  A baby if you will.  I wish Lou Piniella was still the manager, cause he would have already torn him a new one.  Castro is coddled by the Cubs because if he goes bust, the whole future of the Cubs is kinda bust.  It's obvious that the Cubs have begun building around Rizzo, Castro and Samakjebfkebkbfior.  If 1/3 of that equation isn't working, that leaves the Cubs with a huge hole.  Sure we have Baez in the minors, but who know's about him.  He's never been up to the the Big Show.  

Well, yesterday was one game against the second worst team in the majors...and the Cubs won!

I didn't get to stay til the end of the game unfortunately as I had a CigarBQ to attend.  Free booze, BBQ, and Cigars.  Might I suggest you eat at Three Aces.  Chef Matt Troost, 2 time champ of bacon fest was killing it with the Quail last night!

But at the game, the atmosphere, the sounds, the smells of Wrigley were just as magical as always....

I'll be back today to watch Travis Wood, 5-6, 2.74 face Bud Norris, 5-7, 3.64.  Woods been a tough luck loser, along with much of the starting staff.  

But if we see more of this...(Scott Hairston's dinger)

And less of this....(Barney tagged in a "strike em out throw em out DP"

We just might sweep these terrible Astros....

Go Cubbies!!!!

http://www.sonranto.com

Marla Collins, remember?

Cubs' DeJesus Explodes in Fiery Wall Crash; Wins!

When I was in little league, if I screwed up a play, I would act as if some injury caused me to miss the ball, when in actuality, it was a lack of basic skill coupled with clumsiness that had far earlier ruined my chance of athletic success.  That was NOT the case last night with David DeJesus, who knocked in what proved to be the game winner, with a bases clearing, 3 run triple, in the Cubs 6-3 win against the NY Mets.  He then crashed into a wall, exploded into flames, and will now be on the disabled list, for how long? Nobody knows yet.  

Here's DeJesus crashing into a Geico sign.

He then, exploded into flames, and was engulfed in a fiery ball.  

 

Fortunately, the Cubs hottest hitter, Nate Schierholtz, who hit his 9th homerun in the first last night, is also a volunteer fireman, and he instructed Darwin Barney (1 for 4), to spit sunflower seeds on the flaming DeJesus.  

The fire was put out promptly by the seeds, and DeJesus walked off the field under his own power hanging his head in shame, while Dale Sveum itched a hemorrhoid.

Suspicious Cubs fans were quick to react on Twitter last night, speculating that this "fiery crash" into a Geico sign, was actually a new form of advertising, deployed by the Rickett's family to provide another revenue stream for the team.  Progressive Insurance, and their peppily annoying, red pubed spokeswoman, Flo, has been seen at Cubs' Corporate offices in recent days, reportedly to negotiate a subliminal advertising deal with the Cubs to bring down rival Geico.  What better way than with a fiery crash into a Geico sign? 

The media attention immediately turned to other Cubs' players, wondering who on the team would "go down" next in order to spend time on the DL.  Rumor has it, that projects are in the works for Starlin Castro to become sickened to the point of "on field vomiting", by "Miracle Grow" during the upcoming series in Oakland in order to promote Cubs sponsor "Scotts Turf Builder", and to spend more time with his "girlfriend", exotic dancer 'Wild Wanda'.  While Alfonso Soriano has reportedly agreed to be killed by the Toyota sign over the left field bleachers in order to get away from his 4 rambunctious kids and jealous wife, and to promote the new Ford Focus, a recent sponsor of the Cubs. 

 The sign is scheduled to fall and fatally wound Soriano during a September 4th afternoon game against Miami to minimize fan casualties, as attendance is expected to be sparse.  

Tom Ricketts recently said in an interview that never actually happened, that in order to put a winner on the field, the team needs to explore other more unconventional ways to make money.  In addition to the concerts, football and hockey games held at Wrigley Field, the Cubs are also considering a massage parlor in the batters eye, growing marijuana in the bullpens, and in the off season, possibly setting fire to the entire structure for the insurance money and moving the team to Rosemont.  "We have to explore all avenues" Ricketts didn't really say. "Baseball is a business, and I'm a billionaire!"  He then laughed maniacally for 21 minutes and passed out in a giant pile of rubies he keeps next to his desk.  Though that didn't really happen.  

With the 2013 trade deadline looming, and a general malaise hanging over the team, now seems like the perfect time to put the Cubs unconventional renovation plans into effect.  Throughout the year, we will most likely see more strange injuries like the one to DeJesus last night.  Who will it be next?  Time will tell.  But this is how a Championship Team is built.  With Money.  Lot's and lot's of money.  As some guy one time once said, "Can't Make an Omelette Without Breaking a Few Eggs." Raw eggs don't taste very good, but omelettes are delicious.  

Awesome Fight in LA! Cubs Lose!

It really is not worth it to talk about last nights Cubs game, because it was the suckiest suck that ever sucked.  When I turned on the game in the top of the 6th, after returning from Dave and Busters, I thought I'd sit down to a nice 3-1 ballgame, and hangout with my Twitter friends, but alas.  Things changed and they changed fast.  The Reds scored 6, all charged to starter Matt Garza, who gave up, gulp, 9 runs total yesterday.  Despite the Cubs, ummm, 4 errors, all 9 runs were earned.  The Reds hit, damn, 4 home runs and 4 doubles.  And at the end of this game, the Cubs lost 9-2.  This is what happens when good teams play bad teams.  The bad teams get their, ouch, asses handed to them.  This game was nothing but a laugher.  Worst of all, Starlin Castro went 0-3, and is now batting, oh jeebus,  .240.

So, yeah, nothing about last nights Cubs game is worth talking about unless you're a Reds fan.  But....

Soooooo much more happened on the West Coast last night.  Awesome baseball fight!  It started in the 6th, when the Dodgers Puig was hit badly by the pitch.  I mean, this dude seems hurt.

An inning later, Dodger pitcher Zack Greinke was hit by a pitch!  Right in the face!

Then this happened.....

Pow!  Zap!  Bomph!!!

 Crack!  Bang!  Thwack!!!

Boom! Bop! Boing!!

I'm coming for you next ump!!! 

I will seriously stretch out your shirt!  Watch me! 

Break it up....break it...ahh...what the hell...fight! 

You smell!  No you do!   

 I know I'm short and bald, but I know Karate!

Eat Railing!

Ahhhh!!!! 

 You wanna see my shrunken balls?!

Fuggaitaboutit! 

The old butterfly shadow puppet....

Wanna see our pimp walk?

See, much better than talking about how Darwin Barney is batting .201, but for some reason is batting lead off, and Cody Ransom committed 3 of the cubs 4 errors, and Soriano strikes out, like, um, most of the time.  Yes.  The fight is more entertaining.

I'm going to Wrigley today, weather permitting, hopefully something like this awesome baseball fight will happen.  But I doubt it, the Cubs look dead.  Besides, Aroldis Chapman and Joey Votto  of the Reds could take like 5 Cubs each at a time.  We'd get beat in the game and the fight too....At least  Carlos Marmol would come in handy, he seems like he can fight.  

Anyway, the game's going to get rained out, but Mike Leake 5-3, 2.93 goes against Travis Wood, 5-4, 2.65.  These are two great hitting pitchers, and if we are going to win any games this series, it will likely be this one.  But alas, here come the rains....

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