Cubs Swept in Pittsburgh; But I Won!

Well, at least I won 42$ at video roulette at Rivers Casino after the ballgame.  But unfortunately, I seem to be the only entity associated with the Cubs, who has anything to do with the word "win".  It was a stormy Thursday afternoon in Pittsburgh, and with Edwin Jackson showing early in the game that he didn't have his best stuff, getting tagged for 2 runs in each of the first two innings, the rains came as a Cub rally killer with 2 outs, 1 in and 2 on in the 4th.  Ending both Jackson's day and my afternoon sobriety.  Even though I said I wasn't going to drink at this one, a two hour rain delay in a stadium where you can't smoke has a way of changing these self made promises.  The game continued, and our bullpen was lights out!  Unfortunately, the lights were also out on the Cubs bats.  Millionaire Cubs such as Anthony "Fo Shizzo" Rizzo went 0-13 in the series, Soriano 3-12, Castro 3-13, and overall the Cubs  failed to score runs.  So either the Pirates are really good, or the Cubs are terrible.  You pick.

The best thing about yesterday's game was sitting in the left field, where I had a great view of Soriano's butt.  I like Soriano, he engages the hecklers in aloof and confusing ways, he dances to the opposing batters walk up music, and he likes to watch the replays of him and his fellow teammates on the video screen in left field.  Here he is getting ready for nothing to happen.

After the rain delay, I correctly predicted that people were going to be inebriated at the resumption of the game.  I was right.  A Pirate fan who looked like actor Paul Giamatti when he played "Pig Vomit" in the Howard Stern movie, began to heckle Soriano as soon as he took the field in the 5th.  This man was  not as funny as he thought he was, and was told repeatedly by the staff to sit down and be quiet.  I  retaliated Son Ranto style and heckled Pig Vomit by yelling to Soriano in spanish.  "Los fanaticos son gordos y pelados!"  Translated, "the fans are fat and bald".  Which they are.  I include myself in this as well.  The Pirates are very serious about their fans conduct, and lay out rules before the game about swearing and fighting, as to socially engineer their fans into acting respectfully.  Judging by the mustachioed gentlemen spitting his Skoal laden chaw onto the floor as he topped the escalator, I would say these rule reminders  are probably justified around these parts.  But overall, everyone was very nice to me.  Mostly because I'm a Cub fan and they feel bad for me.  But the long suffering Pirate fans deserve a decent ball club after over 20 seasons of losing baseball.  I hope Pig Vomit and Skoal man get their championship.  They deserve it before they die of some horrible disease in 5 or 6 years.  

Speaking of dying of a horrible disease!  When entering the ballpark yesterday, I saw paramedics wheeling a wheezing man, clutching his chest.  He was apparently dying of a heart attack, but there didn't seem to be much urgency in the step of the paramedics.  Judging by the food options at the stadium, this is probably just a work a day event for these guys.  Note to self, don't have a heart attack at PNC park.   It probably wasn't the best idea to eat this pulled pork pierogi sandwich.  In fact, the invention of a pulled pork pierogi sandwich was also not the best idea.  

It's as delicious as it looks.  Whatever that means to you....

All in all, Pittsburghs a great town!  There are lots of gays.  IE good food, and cool shops.  My cousin took me to her friend Stu's Zombie store, House of the Dead.  Check it out if your in Pitt.  Stu's awesome and knows a ton about the history of Zombies in Pittsburgh. We saw an Oompah band playing 80's songs and danced on the tables.  The Casino is walking distance to the ballpark and you can park there for free.  Did I mention I won 42$?! I went to Banjo night at the Elks lodge and drank 6$ pitchers of beer AND I could smoke in my hotel room!  Something that never happens anymore.  Ever.  So, thanks Pittsburgh! I had a great time even though the Cubs didnt......

Off to Cincinnati now.  Lets hope we don't get swept again.  But I have a bad feeling.  Tonight, we've got Scott Feldman against the Reds Bronson Arroyo.  We shall see.  Go Cubbies!

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Oh!  And look at these purty picthahs!

I Came to Pittsburgh For This?

Oh my dear Chicago Cubs....I drove 8 hours through the rain to come watch you blow monkey chunks.  Seriously?!  Bases loaded, nobody out and you can't score a single run?  And two of the outs come from our "future superstars"  Starlin Castro and Anthony Rizzo?  Starlin, I'm sorry I missed your 7th error of the year too.  I was looking for a place to smoke.  I'd like to thank PNC Park for A. Being beautiful, one of the nicest parks I've seen on my travels.  And B. For selling me giant beers to wash down the disappointment of watching both Matt Garza and Jeff  Smdebiebifnodnjiee pitch incredibly, allowing only 4 hits over 12 innings to the Pirates, only to have our bullpen blow it on Tuesday, and to not be able to hit at all on Wednesday.  Ugh... Here's a pic of our loser bullpen walking sadly in after the loss.

Me and the smattering of fans who attended Wednesday nights game were treated to either a "pitchers duel", or a "crappy hitters showcase".  Not sure which.  And I can only say, thank god that stadium is beautiful, because the baseball sure wasn't.  Seriously, PNC Park is a great place to watch a game and drink giant beers.  They have awesome salty sweet roasted almonds, and the nachos, though sizable and typical, didn't come in an awesome batting helmet for me to hilariously wear later and get cheese on my ear.  No, that never happened.  But the baseball!!!!???  Rizzo and Soriano.  3 K's each.  Castro and Rizzo 0-4 with 4 each LOB.  The team went 0-6 with runners in scoring position, resulting in, you guessed it, 0 runs!  And I've never heard of a team winning with 0 runs.  Have you? Well at least I did this!

That's me!  Catching behind the great Willie Stargell!  Do I look like Johnny Bench?

Ok...how bout Tuesdays game? Two words.  Grand Slam. Bullpen fail.  The only good thing besides Matt Garza looking pretty sharp in his return about this game, was I discovered the hashtag #bullpenisterrible really says bull penis terrible.  Which is hilarious.  Oh yeah, Rizzo our new multi million dollar man went 0-5 and struck out to end the game.  

Here's a question pertaining to both evenings?  Why is Scott Hairston's head so big?  And why is he still playing professional baseball?  I would rather see a gory middle ages public execution than ever ever ever watching Scott Hairston try to hit a baseball again.  Seriously, he reached on an error last night, and he looked so confused because he hasn't run the bases since Spring Training.  This has got to stop.  Send him down, and he and Brent Lillibridge can knock the cover off the ball in Des Moines.  Ugh.  

Well, I gotta go catch this afternoon game for some reason.  It starts in 2 hours.  Oh yeah...I'm an idiot and bought a ticket.  Hopefully Edwin Jackson can stop the bleeding against Jeanmar Gomez.   I'm parking at the Casino for free....yeah right....ain't nothing free at a Casino, at least not when I'm around.....Check out more pics from last night....and the new podcast is out!

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