Cubs Avoid Sweep? Not Bloody Likely....

I have been traveling, watching baseball games, gambling, smoking, drinking beer and eating crappy ballpark food, and the single activity that makes me feel as if I've been run over by a Sherman tank are the baseball games.  The Cubs are about to be swept on this road series, and I can't bear to look anymore.  Take a look at these happy Reds fans hugging a giant baseball headed man.

This is what fans of teams look like when they're happy and playing winning baseball.  Now, take a look at what I look like this morning as I write this blog post after watching the Cubs 6 game losing streak in person.

Yes, it's come to this.  Coffee, Cigarette and blogging.  I made a deal with the Cubs yesterday, I would buy a ticket to todays, Sunday's, game if and only if the Cubs won yesterday.  They didn't win, losing 5-2 in what can be characterized as an anemic display of ineptitude and a lack of basic talent.  So, I'm not going today even though the beach boys are giving a free post game concert. Wait...I hate the Beach Boys... Anyway,  In both of these games in Cincinnati, the Cubs took an early lead, only to have it eviscerated in a big run producing inning by the Reds.  Besides the general lack of run production by the Cubs, there just seems to be a general lack of confidence on this team.  Players like Starlin Castro, and Alfonso Soriano just seem as though they'd rather be anywhere else than on a baseball field in a Chicago Cubs uniform.  The Cubs were 1-5 yesterday and 2-9 Friday with runners in scoring position, scoring a total of 6 runs and leaving 31 men on base in the 2 games thus far.  Ugh.  Take a look at this Scoreboard pic of our lineup from yesterday.

Yes, that's right, our pitcher, Travis Wood has a higher batting average than half the starting position players.  No wonder we've left 31 men on base in the last 2 days.  And on Friday, 2 of the 4 runs the Cubs scored were because of a homerun by the pitcher, Scott Feldman.  Which is awesome, but also pathetic.  

In fact, The only good thing that happened during yesterday's game was not baseball related at all.  I saw Carrie Muskat in the elevator, the Cubs team blogger.  She had a giant plate of fries, and I tweeted about the experience.  She made sure I knew she didn't eat them all herself.  I didn't say she did.  All I said was enjoy your fries!  So now, I've got this image of Carrie, Gordon Wittenmyer and Phil Rogers all chowing down on a big plate of fries.  I got to get myself a seat in that pressbox, and get me some fries, but alas, I'm in the stands and have to resort to other measures.  For example...

   As Reds closer Aroldis Chapman finished off Scott Hairston who came in as an offensive substitute for Julio Borbon in the 9th inning, (hahahaha....Scott Hairstons a substitute for a real baseball player and the only thing offensive is his lack of hitting and giant head) Anyway, the Red's fans around me were chanting "Pizza Pizza Pizza".  I asked what all the hub bub was about and some guy told me that if the Reds pitchers strike out the visitors 11 times, everyone wins a free Pizza if you go show your ticket at LaRosa's pizza.  So, I look up at the scoreboard, see there are 2 outs, and Scott Hairston at the plate, and I turned right around and started chanting "Pizza Pizza Pizza!".  When Scott Hairston was indeed caught looking at a called third strike, I cheered and yelled "pizza!" and gave High 5's to the Red's fans.  Hell at least I won a Pizza, which is more than I can say for the Chicago Cubs.

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Here are a couple pics from my trip....but I'm going back to Chicago ASAP.....

I Came to Pittsburgh For This?

Oh my dear Chicago Cubs....I drove 8 hours through the rain to come watch you blow monkey chunks.  Seriously?!  Bases loaded, nobody out and you can't score a single run?  And two of the outs come from our "future superstars"  Starlin Castro and Anthony Rizzo?  Starlin, I'm sorry I missed your 7th error of the year too.  I was looking for a place to smoke.  I'd like to thank PNC Park for A. Being beautiful, one of the nicest parks I've seen on my travels.  And B. For selling me giant beers to wash down the disappointment of watching both Matt Garza and Jeff  Smdebiebifnodnjiee pitch incredibly, allowing only 4 hits over 12 innings to the Pirates, only to have our bullpen blow it on Tuesday, and to not be able to hit at all on Wednesday.  Ugh... Here's a pic of our loser bullpen walking sadly in after the loss.

Me and the smattering of fans who attended Wednesday nights game were treated to either a "pitchers duel", or a "crappy hitters showcase".  Not sure which.  And I can only say, thank god that stadium is beautiful, because the baseball sure wasn't.  Seriously, PNC Park is a great place to watch a game and drink giant beers.  They have awesome salty sweet roasted almonds, and the nachos, though sizable and typical, didn't come in an awesome batting helmet for me to hilariously wear later and get cheese on my ear.  No, that never happened.  But the baseball!!!!???  Rizzo and Soriano.  3 K's each.  Castro and Rizzo 0-4 with 4 each LOB.  The team went 0-6 with runners in scoring position, resulting in, you guessed it, 0 runs!  And I've never heard of a team winning with 0 runs.  Have you? Well at least I did this!

That's me!  Catching behind the great Willie Stargell!  Do I look like Johnny Bench?

Ok...how bout Tuesdays game? Two words.  Grand Slam. Bullpen fail.  The only good thing besides Matt Garza looking pretty sharp in his return about this game, was I discovered the hashtag #bullpenisterrible really says bull penis terrible.  Which is hilarious.  Oh yeah, Rizzo our new multi million dollar man went 0-5 and struck out to end the game.  

Here's a question pertaining to both evenings?  Why is Scott Hairston's head so big?  And why is he still playing professional baseball?  I would rather see a gory middle ages public execution than ever ever ever watching Scott Hairston try to hit a baseball again.  Seriously, he reached on an error last night, and he looked so confused because he hasn't run the bases since Spring Training.  This has got to stop.  Send him down, and he and Brent Lillibridge can knock the cover off the ball in Des Moines.  Ugh.  

Well, I gotta go catch this afternoon game for some reason.  It starts in 2 hours.  Oh yeah...I'm an idiot and bought a ticket.  Hopefully Edwin Jackson can stop the bleeding against Jeanmar Gomez.   I'm parking at the Casino for free....yeah right....ain't nothing free at a Casino, at least not when I'm around.....Check out more pics from last night....and the new podcast is out!

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