From our slightly obstructed view, Terrace Reserved seats behind home plate, The Lovable Lou Sears and I, Son Ranto witnessed a ball game where everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Yes, 30mph wind was wreaking havoc upon any fly ball hit, too bad the Cubs didn't hit too many balls in the air. Yes. Starlin Castro's 9th inning fly out would have been a walk off grand slam, or a bases clearing double 2 innings earlier, but the wind started blowing in, and it was an out. Yes. If Darwin Barney had been playing second, or Valbuena would have tried to turn two instead of throwing home, the brewers wouldn't have scored 4 in the first. But that's what happened, and these are all excuses as to why we lost the game yesterday. Excuses excuses excuses.
This is going to a season of excuses. But I'd like to dig deeper. Why did Starlin Castro try to hit a homerun when he knew the wind was blowing in? I woulda settled for a single. Why is Brent Lillibridge on the team at all? Granted Barney's hurt and Javier Baez is not ready, but it would just be a few weeks, and we wouldn't have to watch Lilliput...the troll out there not fielding, or hitting! He's batting .000. His OBP? .000. The most exciting thing he's ever done for the Cubs was yesterday thrilling fielders choice. Another excuse, and over heard in the stands..."Barney would have gotten to that ball"....You know who else would have? Javier Baez, or Junior Lake.
Now here's the big mystery of the year. Why can't our catcher catch the ball? Beef Wellington's only been charged with one passed ball, but there have been numerous wild pitches and just straight up cross ups. Other, better defensive catchers would have gotten to some of those wild pitches. Sometimes. Castillo just straight up misses the ball with the glove. All I'm saying is, the whole battery looks shaky.
The boo birds were out for Carlos Marmol yesterday too. And the vitriol I heard spewing from the fans around me is unprintable. Here's my question? Do you want him to do well or poorly? Why boo the guy? He's already having a bad time of it? What if you were at work and having trouble getting something right, and everyone just came around telling you that you suck? Wouldn't that make it infinitely harder to do your job? I mean, Christ! It's not like we're going to win the world series this year. Let's just support these guys. It's our team. Team team team. Are you on it or just some drunken nay sayers?
Speaking of drunken nay sayers. The shadow unemployment in our society was well represented and explained yesterday, as on a Monday afternoon, unemployed alcoholics from all over the midwest showed up to watch the Cubbies lose this stinker of a ball game. They were quite hilarious though. And I look forward to recording these hilarious low lifes as the season goes on, and giving you out there who can't afford the 6$ to go to a game a window into how drunk Subs fans truly are. It's gonna be ugly people.
Speaking of the podcast...listen to it here... https://soundcloud.com/danny-rockett/son-ranto-home-opener. There's a problem with our itunes feed right now...in the process of fixing it....
Well...Lou Sears and I will be on a rooftop tonight getting shit faced if you wanna look us up....email sonranto@gmail.com , and we can commiserate in our misery....
Excuses excuses excuses.....
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Home Opener! Dream come True....
Hooray! We've all made it another year!! Now it's time to accomplish my life long dream of walking to Wrigley Field from my very own North Side apartment!!! As a child, I dreamed of living in one of the flats across the street (where the current 'rooftops' are). This was back in the 80s when I think the main people sitting up there were actual tenants, just sitting on lawn chairs. But alas, I can't afford to live closer than a neighborhood away...damned yuppies.....but still, I can walk to Wrigley in 25 minutes, and I'm freakin giddy as a japanese school girl about it. (Is that racist? make sense?) I'll be joined in the stands today at the Cubs home opener against by the Milwaukee Brewers, but we're starting out the festivities with a little Champagne Brunch at the Ranto Crib. And hopefully this morning rain will subside, and Tom Skilling's prediction of a decent afternoon will be fulfilled. Either way, I think they'll get the game in. And even though the Cubs looked horrible this weekend in Atlanta, there's nothing that can't contain my excitement about watching a game at Wrigley Field today.
OK. Enough wistful rhetoric about how awesome my life is right now. And onto how terrible the Cubs are.
Carlos Marmol. There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. And unfortunately, I've been saying this for two years now. Carlos Marmol is not a very good pitcher anymore. Every batter in the league played fly swatter with his slider for years, and then figured out that if they didn't swing, one of two things would happen; they would walk, or get hit by the pitch. Either way. They'd end up at first base. So then, the Cubs made him develop his fastball. So, Marmol starts throwing straight darts down the middle of the plate in addition to the slider (which was usually a ball), and it was like batting practice. His slider has or had crazy movement, his fastball has none. Whatever the pitching coaches turned Carlos Marmol into, the result is horrific. And I feel horrifically bad for the man because I used to love watching him pitch....in the 8th inning. He never should have been the closer. I've said it from the beginning. Why take him out of the 8th inning when he's doing great in that role. Don't fix it if it ain't broke. Well now it's broke, and I don't think anyone can fix it. It's over for Marmol and the Cubs. My hope is that he goes to another team....preferably in the American League, where some dynamo pitching coach can help him straighten out everything. I wish the man success, I loved watching him pitch, but I just don't want to watch it anymore. It's a train wreck.
The news then broke Sunday, that Marmol's out as closer, and Fujikawa's in. Great. Fabulous. Sound the trumpets. They finally did what I've been saying they should do for two full seasons now.
The real question about the Cubs front office when it comes to Marmol is..."why is he even on the team still?". They could have traded him for Dan Haren in the off season, and didn't because Dan Haren has a nagging hip problem. Well Carlos Marmol has a nagging pitching badly problem. And has for some time. I woulda traded Marmol for the organist for the Las Vegas Area 51's and a couple of Ho Ho Kams this off season. Seriously.
OK. Now I'm getting depressed...but today is Opening Day at Wrigley! Just checked the Sattelite, and it's looking good for weather this afternoon! Come say Hi!!!! We will be in Terrace Reserved to the third base side behind home plate. Look for two devastatingly handsome men sitting with an old lady (Mom Ranto)
In the meantime.... here's the podcast link for today!
https://soundcloud.com/danny-rockett/son-ranto-home-opener
OK. Enough wistful rhetoric about how awesome my life is right now. And onto how terrible the Cubs are.
Carlos Marmol. There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. And unfortunately, I've been saying this for two years now. Carlos Marmol is not a very good pitcher anymore. Every batter in the league played fly swatter with his slider for years, and then figured out that if they didn't swing, one of two things would happen; they would walk, or get hit by the pitch. Either way. They'd end up at first base. So then, the Cubs made him develop his fastball. So, Marmol starts throwing straight darts down the middle of the plate in addition to the slider (which was usually a ball), and it was like batting practice. His slider has or had crazy movement, his fastball has none. Whatever the pitching coaches turned Carlos Marmol into, the result is horrific. And I feel horrifically bad for the man because I used to love watching him pitch....in the 8th inning. He never should have been the closer. I've said it from the beginning. Why take him out of the 8th inning when he's doing great in that role. Don't fix it if it ain't broke. Well now it's broke, and I don't think anyone can fix it. It's over for Marmol and the Cubs. My hope is that he goes to another team....preferably in the American League, where some dynamo pitching coach can help him straighten out everything. I wish the man success, I loved watching him pitch, but I just don't want to watch it anymore. It's a train wreck.
The news then broke Sunday, that Marmol's out as closer, and Fujikawa's in. Great. Fabulous. Sound the trumpets. They finally did what I've been saying they should do for two full seasons now.
The real question about the Cubs front office when it comes to Marmol is..."why is he even on the team still?". They could have traded him for Dan Haren in the off season, and didn't because Dan Haren has a nagging hip problem. Well Carlos Marmol has a nagging pitching badly problem. And has for some time. I woulda traded Marmol for the organist for the Las Vegas Area 51's and a couple of Ho Ho Kams this off season. Seriously.
OK. Now I'm getting depressed...but today is Opening Day at Wrigley! Just checked the Sattelite, and it's looking good for weather this afternoon! Come say Hi!!!! We will be in Terrace Reserved to the third base side behind home plate. Look for two devastatingly handsome men sitting with an old lady (Mom Ranto)
In the meantime.... here's the podcast link for today!
https://soundcloud.com/danny-rockett/son-ranto-home-opener
Saturday, April 6, 2013
The Cubs Look Bad in Hotlanta and other Matters
Here is a list of Cubs position players in Atlanta last night who do not have a hit this year. Sappelt, DeJesus, Lillibridge, Valbuena. Here is a list of Position players batting under .200. Hairston, Navarro, Rizzo, Soriano. This is not good. Obviously not good. Terrible. Ok. Fine it's April and it's colder. As far as I'm concerned. Excuses Excuses. The cold doesn't make a batter swing at a pitch one foot outside the strike zone does it? Does the cold make you miss hit and run signs? I mean, as exciting as Dionner "la casa" Navarro is trying to steal second base is, I still only want to see that sort of thing on Celebrity Fit Club not in a Major League baseball game.
Other reasons why the Cubs look bad. I think Scott Feldman and Beef Wellington Castillo need an interpreter more than Takahashi. Judging by Feldmans chin strap beard, he is obviously Amish and speaks an obscure German dialect, while Castillo's original language is Spanish. How else could you explain 2 wild pitches, 4 walks, a hit batsman and 3 stolen bases? The battery looked like it was shorting out last night. To further pick on Feldman, while attempting to cover first base on a grounder to Rizzo, Feldman missed the base by a few inches, and that run later scored. How many times did they run that drill in Spring Training? 1000? I don't know. Except for that it's just fundamentally shitty fielding. Feldman also committed an error. Did I mention he kind of pitched like shit too? Well. He did. So far, not a fan of the chinstrap.
Ok. I would rather watch Ron Santo's legless ghost play 3rd base than Brent Lillibridge. Not only is he a career .209 hitter who belongs in his home town in Washington State coaching high school baseball and teaching remedial math class to learning disabled kids, but he's also a leprechaun. Nuff said. My prediction? The pot of gold is hidden under home plate, because he doesn't ever leave the batters box when its his turn at bat.
Anthony Rizzo struck out thrice last night. He chased pitches all night long. He looked like shit. This is the future people. Our future. I know we all think he's the second less drunk coming of Mark Grace, but it's unproven. Professional pitchers know how to miss his bat.
Other miscues...Alberto Gonzales clearly was out of position to tag a runner stealing second, which pissed off Beef Wellington, resulting in some of those afore mentioned pitcher/ catcher crossups, and a run. The Cubs struck out 9 times and didn't walk once. Swinging and missing badly on many a third strike. Oh....and they only scored one run. On a home run, with no one on base. And they lost.
The one positive take away? Carlos Marmol did not appear in this game.
Now on the podcast, located here, I predicted we would lose this game and win the next two. So far I'm right, I just didn't think the Cubbies would look so bad losing. One the bright side, Carlos Villanueva is going against Julio Teheran who is basically a rookie. Gives me some semblance of hope we can scratch a win out.
One interesting thing to watch for, and I'm going to predict it here. There will be a fist fight in this series. You may know about the Braves GM waving the Cubs relief pitchers off the field while they were playing catch in the outfield. Check the story out here...There were two hit batters last night. Add a little batting frustration, and you got yourself a Donnybrook! Maybe it'll light a fire under their ass....
OK. Enough with the nay saying! Let's go get em tonight!!!
Other reasons why the Cubs look bad. I think Scott Feldman and Beef Wellington Castillo need an interpreter more than Takahashi. Judging by Feldmans chin strap beard, he is obviously Amish and speaks an obscure German dialect, while Castillo's original language is Spanish. How else could you explain 2 wild pitches, 4 walks, a hit batsman and 3 stolen bases? The battery looked like it was shorting out last night. To further pick on Feldman, while attempting to cover first base on a grounder to Rizzo, Feldman missed the base by a few inches, and that run later scored. How many times did they run that drill in Spring Training? 1000? I don't know. Except for that it's just fundamentally shitty fielding. Feldman also committed an error. Did I mention he kind of pitched like shit too? Well. He did. So far, not a fan of the chinstrap.
Ok. I would rather watch Ron Santo's legless ghost play 3rd base than Brent Lillibridge. Not only is he a career .209 hitter who belongs in his home town in Washington State coaching high school baseball and teaching remedial math class to learning disabled kids, but he's also a leprechaun. Nuff said. My prediction? The pot of gold is hidden under home plate, because he doesn't ever leave the batters box when its his turn at bat.
Anthony Rizzo struck out thrice last night. He chased pitches all night long. He looked like shit. This is the future people. Our future. I know we all think he's the second less drunk coming of Mark Grace, but it's unproven. Professional pitchers know how to miss his bat.
Other miscues...Alberto Gonzales clearly was out of position to tag a runner stealing second, which pissed off Beef Wellington, resulting in some of those afore mentioned pitcher/ catcher crossups, and a run. The Cubs struck out 9 times and didn't walk once. Swinging and missing badly on many a third strike. Oh....and they only scored one run. On a home run, with no one on base. And they lost.
The one positive take away? Carlos Marmol did not appear in this game.
Now on the podcast, located here, I predicted we would lose this game and win the next two. So far I'm right, I just didn't think the Cubbies would look so bad losing. One the bright side, Carlos Villanueva is going against Julio Teheran who is basically a rookie. Gives me some semblance of hope we can scratch a win out.
One interesting thing to watch for, and I'm going to predict it here. There will be a fist fight in this series. You may know about the Braves GM waving the Cubs relief pitchers off the field while they were playing catch in the outfield. Check the story out here...There were two hit batters last night. Add a little batting frustration, and you got yourself a Donnybrook! Maybe it'll light a fire under their ass....
OK. Enough with the nay saying! Let's go get em tonight!!!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Morning baseball!
No sooner had I woken up red lipped and hung over from hanging out with the lovable Lou Sears last night at Quartino on State, then it was time for baseball! It seems we drink more when the Cubs don't score. Drink drink drink. That's all we do as batter after batter comes to the plate, failing miserably. Lou and my livers fail with them. Anyway. Last nights 3-0 loss to the Pirates sucked and I don't want to talk about it cause I'm hung over as fuck.
So yesterday, I headed down into enemy territory. South side. Sox park. The cell. Lets just put it this way. I paid 8$ for box seats right behind home plate. I lost the ball under hat game on the scoreboard. And if some recording tells me to clap my hands one more time I'm gonna kick a cop. The cell is nice. The food is good. The fans are drunk and all look like they were born in an Irish bar. And the white sox hit more dingers than there were fans at the game. And then there was this guy! See pic.
It was nice to sit in the sun and hear the crack of the bat. It's baseball time and I can't wait to do the real thing at wrigley on Monday.
So. Lets win this series eh? The game starts now. So I'm gonna shut up and drink water.
Go cubbies!
So yesterday, I headed down into enemy territory. South side. Sox park. The cell. Lets just put it this way. I paid 8$ for box seats right behind home plate. I lost the ball under hat game on the scoreboard. And if some recording tells me to clap my hands one more time I'm gonna kick a cop. The cell is nice. The food is good. The fans are drunk and all look like they were born in an Irish bar. And the white sox hit more dingers than there were fans at the game. And then there was this guy! See pic.
It was nice to sit in the sun and hear the crack of the bat. It's baseball time and I can't wait to do the real thing at wrigley on Monday.
So. Lets win this series eh? The game starts now. So I'm gonna shut up and drink water.
Go cubbies!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Off Day Blues
After running down to Montrose Beach to interview Boban Simic, a cage fighter who swims in the icy waters of Lake Michigan, and taking a 2 hour nap, I realized the Cubs off-days might prove to be more interesting than the days the Cubs are playing, where I predictably drink beer and sit on my ass, while texting brain farts to the Lovable Lou Sears. I did get some baseball in however, successfully rooted against the Brewers, which gives the Cubs sole possession of first place for the next 12 hours or so at least. Enjoy it while it lasts. I switched over to watch Yu Darvish blow his perfect game. which is hilarious because I love the look on fan's faces when they thought they were going to witness history, and instead have to tell the same story I've told about Eddie Milner breaking up Chuck Raineys NO-NO in 1983. I was 9, and it still hurts. I was at Johan Santanas no-hitter last year at Citi Field, but i was on a terrible OK Cupid date with this fat Philipino chick who laughed like Sylvester the cat, so I didn't even have that much fun. But I digress. Here's what disappointment looks like....
Ha. Freaking Ha!
So after watching Darvish blow the perfect game, I switched over to Bob Brenly and the DBacks hoping to root against the Cardinals, but I failed miserably and the Red Droppings won. By the end of the night, it was Vin Scully and the Dodgers, but alas it was the 9th inning already, so when that all ended I was forced onto youtube to watch fat people falling until I got tired enough to fall asleep. Damned naps keep me up to the middle of the night.
My overall point is. Baseball is back. And i cannot get enough. So much so, that I may just shell out the 11 bucks to sit in the box seats at "The Cell" today just to watch a little baseball live and in person before the Cubs home opener next week. Could someone please send me a private message at sonranto@gmail.com to remind me which way to where my hat, and what colors not to wear in order to not get shot at while on the South Side? I definitely won't wear any Cubs gear because then they'll know I'm lost, and I'll end up singing the baby sitting blues at some dingy hole in the wall before I can get back north. Actually, that would be kind of fun. And I prefer the company of minorities and women, so it might just work out perfectly. White people are pretty boring. Sorry.
Well, hopefully, I can make it back uptown for the Cubbies 6:05 start. It doesn't matter anyway because I don't have cable, so I can watch the game anywhere BUT my apartment. Maybe I'll see what the Lovable Lou Sears is doing and mooch a couple of beers off him. He's not supposed to drink because of the gout and I have a feeling that his wife is going to hate him, and subsequently me by the end of June. My divorce is pending. Lou's still married, and I Son Ranto aim to keep it that way.
So tonight! Edwin Jackson vs. Wandy Rodriguez. Let's just hope Lillibridge is somewhere guarding his pot of gold and doesn't play, and Marmol is spotted a 5 run lead in the 9th. Fingers crossed people.
Play ball.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Your First Place Chicago Cubs!!
While the hated St. Louis Bird Droppings languish in last place, the Cubs sit atop the NL Central! Many that has a nice ring to it! Our magic number is now 161. And if we extrapolate the performances of the players yesterday, Anthony Rizzo will hit 162 home runs. Brent Lillibridge will strike out 486 times. And Carlos Marmol will almost lose every game for us. But let's stay positive for a moment....
First of all. A special thanks to Three Aces Bar on Taylor st. and Benny the bartender for not judging me for drinking in the day time. The lovable Lou Sears and I had a lovely afternoon drinking Left Handed Stout. I also ate a delicious pulled pork sandwich, kale salad, and the best tomato soup ever for only 10$. And yes. That was a commercial. The game seemed to zip by, as Samardzija just mowed em down. 9 strike outs, 2 hits, 0 runs, 8 innings. Do we have a bonified ace now? Lou Sears is convinced he's the second coming of Randy Johnson. I still remain unconvinced until his fastball kills a bird.
First of all. A special thanks to Three Aces Bar on Taylor st. and Benny the bartender for not judging me for drinking in the day time. The lovable Lou Sears and I had a lovely afternoon drinking Left Handed Stout. I also ate a delicious pulled pork sandwich, kale salad, and the best tomato soup ever for only 10$. And yes. That was a commercial. The game seemed to zip by, as Samardzija just mowed em down. 9 strike outs, 2 hits, 0 runs, 8 innings. Do we have a bonified ace now? Lou Sears is convinced he's the second coming of Randy Johnson. I still remain unconvinced until his fastball kills a bird.
Yeah...the Shark was great! Let's hope this trend continues, and when the rest of the staff is healthy, we might actually make things interesting in the Central this year. Like the Pirates last year. Castro and Castillo had 2/3 of the Cubs 6 hits, which basically means that the rest of the team, besides Rizzo who homered didn't do anything. Soriano struck out twice, and Lillibridge, that elf looking MoFo, was horrible. 3 Ks and an error. We need our Dar Bar back and fast!
OK. Marmol. WTF.
He should not close a game ever. It's over for him. I'm sorry, but it just is. Marmol was a great 8th inning guy. But in the 9th. He's a head case. Why in the hell do pitchers treat the 9th inning with such a different energy? Just go up there, execute each pitch, and get the guy out! No matter what inning it is! One pitch at a time. Carlos Marmol is incapable of closing ballgames. Period. I have no idea if Fujikawa is any good. All I know is, he got the save yesterday,and was pumped his fist when he got the fly ball to center to save the game. So Dale. Mr. Sveum. Please. Don't ever let Carlos Marmol pitch in the 9th inning. Please. Thank You.
So who else sucked? Lillibridge. I actually think I hate him. First of all, he's an ex White Sox. Second of all. He sucks. and he looks like an elf. Or a troll. All I know is he's better off on Lucky Charms boxes and not playing second base. I'd rather see Aaron Fucking Miles hitting weak scribblers to second than watch Brent "Magically delicious" Lillibridge play baseball. Got it. Dar Bar come back to us!!!
After the game, The lovable Lou Sears and I went over to the Billy Goat Tavern and met up with friends and did shots of Malort until we were either gonna sleep or fight. Big thanks to our Bar Tender Jeff who kept me and the boys in line. We capped off the night with an amazing Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds concert at the beautiful Chicago Theater. Seriously incredible show. And the perfect end to what turned out to be the best opening day I've had in a looooonngggg time....
So what's next? Edwin Jackson debuts for the North Siders against Wandy Rodriguez. Wandy always seems to pitch the Cubbies tough, and we've seen a lot of him in a Houston uniform. I actually wish he was on our team. I'd rather have him than Scott Baker at this point. Anyhow, he's on the Pirates now, and we gotta figure out a way to beat him on Wednesday night. I'm psyched to see what Edwin Jackson can do for us. We've got him for 4 years and 52 million. So...he better not get injured, and he'd better win 80 games through 2017. Got it?
Go Cubbies.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Let's Go 2013 Cubbies!
I'm just about to head down to Three Aces Bar on Taylor st. to watch our beloved Cubbies take on the Pittsburgh Pirates. We better win this one, because it's one of our only chances to be in first place this year.....
There's a podcast, which i really don't remember recording with the loveable Lou Sears, because I drank too much Jesus Blood at Easter Dinner. I'm actually scared to listen to the cast because i might end up going to AA instead of Three Aces. Anyway...listen to it here.... http://sonranto.com/Sonranto/SonRanto_Cast/SonRanto_Cast.html
Today we got the Shark vs. AJ Burnette. The tattooed Burnette went 0-2 with a 7.36 era this spring, so that's pretty sweet on paper to face such a loser. But last year he went 16-10 with a 3.51, which is pretty damned decent. But hell, it's a new year, and we got our best pitcher going. It's mullet vs. rocking tats...and I can barely contain my excitement! Let's Tattoo Burnette!
Sucks that Dar Bar has a hole in his knee, so ladies and gentlemen, your opening day second baseman is Brent Lillibridge who has a leprachaun name.
Today's opening day lineup....
1. DeJesus CF
2. Castro SS
3. Rizzo 1B
4. Soriano LF
5. Schierholz RF
6. Castillo C
7. Valbuena 3B
8. Lillibridge 2B
9. Samardzija P
Alright people. I know this might be a tough year. But let's cheer our asses off anyway. In a year or two when we make a run at the Central you can say you were there when the team was in shambles. This is any Cubs fan's chance to prove they're no fairweather fan!
Let's Go Cubbies!!
There's a podcast, which i really don't remember recording with the loveable Lou Sears, because I drank too much Jesus Blood at Easter Dinner. I'm actually scared to listen to the cast because i might end up going to AA instead of Three Aces. Anyway...listen to it here.... http://sonranto.com/Sonranto/SonRanto_Cast/SonRanto_Cast.html
Today we got the Shark vs. AJ Burnette. The tattooed Burnette went 0-2 with a 7.36 era this spring, so that's pretty sweet on paper to face such a loser. But last year he went 16-10 with a 3.51, which is pretty damned decent. But hell, it's a new year, and we got our best pitcher going. It's mullet vs. rocking tats...and I can barely contain my excitement! Let's Tattoo Burnette!
Sucks that Dar Bar has a hole in his knee, so ladies and gentlemen, your opening day second baseman is Brent Lillibridge who has a leprachaun name.
Today's opening day lineup....
1. DeJesus CF
2. Castro SS
3. Rizzo 1B
4. Soriano LF
5. Schierholz RF
6. Castillo C
7. Valbuena 3B
8. Lillibridge 2B
9. Samardzija P
Alright people. I know this might be a tough year. But let's cheer our asses off anyway. In a year or two when we make a run at the Central you can say you were there when the team was in shambles. This is any Cubs fan's chance to prove they're no fairweather fan!
Let's Go Cubbies!!
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