Cubs got Wood; But not in Bats

Another great performance by Cubs pitcher  Travis"The New Kerry" Wood, only to be wasted by an errant pick off throw, and another poor performance by our bullpen and specifically Shawn Camp, who was the goat and the loser in Sunday's loss to the Giants as well.  We are too busy beating ourselves in these games.  There was another passed ball where our 'Misser' Wellington Castillo couldn't turn his glove around in time which resulted in a runner advancing, and then scoring.  The aforementioned wild throw to first, and then of course, a 2 run homer to put the Rangers up 4-0.  The Cubs managed only 6 hits.  Half of them in the 9th inning, where we managed to scratch out 2, and it could have been more if Darwin Barney's (welcome back buddy!) sinking line drive had gotten down for a hit.  But alas.  We lose.  Game over.  Another one got away.  Another one bites the dust.

I would like to suggest that Cubs fans should have a song to sing when we lose.  I mean we only got to sing 'Go Cubs Go' 38 times on the North Side last year.  Seems we should sing more, even at the losses, to keep our voices in shape.  I suggest Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust".  First of all, it's a great song, and will nicely bookend with "We Will Rock You" when our new giant monstrosity of a scoreboard blasts us with ads and ways to cheer.  I'm sure "We Will Rock You" will be blasted at us too.  Boom Boom Chick Boom Boom Chick.  I suggest that after every Cubs loss, we sing as well.  I mean the best songs are sad songs anyway.  We should sing our pleasure and our pain!  Beer na bow bow bow....Another One Bitse the Dust!!

So what else happened?  We finally got rid of the Leprechaun Lillibridge, thank god!  And Dar Bar came back from his knee gouge to play second and almost win the game last night.  In addition we picked up some bullpen help from the castaways at Gilligans Baseball Island.  With Fujikawa on the DL, Marmol in yipsville, and Clevenger on the 60 day DL with "Crumbling at Home Plate-itis", we needed a little help.  And a "little" help is what we got.  We picked up Cameron Loe a righty who had some decent years with Milwaukee.  Seattle released him.  We got him.  He did well last night anyway.  1 scoreless inning pitched.  We also picked up Kevin "goggles" Gregg.  For those of you that remember 2009, he was the guy who blew a bunch of saves for the Cubs and typically has an ERA between 4 and 5.  I watched Kevin Gregg blow a 4 run lead in the 9th against the Mets once in NYC.  Classy!  Hey while we're at it, lets bring back all our failed closers from the past.  Kerry Wood, Ryan Dempster.  How about Goose Gossage?    Not excited about this move, but whatchoo gonna do?  At least we can spread the blame around the bullpen for these late inning losses.  We also picked up veteran infielder Cody Ransom, who basically sucks at hitting and spends a fair amount of time under the .200 Mendoza line.  We are his 8th team.  But I welcome him with open arms because Lillibridge is gone and off the Cubs.  Goog riddance to bad rubbish.  When's Ian Stewart coming back?  Who the hell knows or cares.  Does he even exist?  Either way, I don't like his attitude.  I'd rather see the ghost of Ron Santo out there at third.    Or if we get Goose Gossage to close.  Why not get Ron Cey?  Penguin!!!!

Well, Lou Sears said in the last podcast that we will get swept in this series.  And looking at the radar map and the giant ass storm headed our way, there is a good chance it will be a one game sweep.  I hold tickets for tonights game, yet am doubtful about its playability.  I have even less hope for tomorrow.  Thunderstorms!!!!! Hell, it might do us good.  The new guys can get to know each other, and maybe Shawn Camp can watch a bunch of video to see what the hell he's doing wrong.  I of course will be lamenting my decision to live just north of 3 graveyards.  Graceland Cemetery, Hebrew Benevolent Cemetery, and Wrigley Field....

Go Cubbies!

Its a Great Day for Cubs Baseball! Not!!

It's cold.  Damned cold.  My old ass heater is loud and wakes me up at night.  It's baseball season people.  The taxes are paid.  Why can't I watch a game at Wrigley field without wearing long johns and a parka!?   I blame the lord fighting back against the dark magic of the goat head.

Speaking of goat heads.  Check out the new Podcast here, where the lovable Lou Sears and Son Ranto sing "Goat Heads" to the tune of fish heads.  Classy.... There's also an interview with  Brent "Leprechaun" Lillibridge from Opening Day.  And some "reality radio" from a roof top, where a fan obsessed with the 1984 Cubs says how we can win the World series this year.  It's a drunken mess.

Ok.  So Yesterday, after purchasing 6$ tickets to sit in terrace reserved, I walked through Challenger park in the cold mist towards Wrigley field, feeling confident that the Cubbies could scratch out some runs, and hand a loss to Los Gigantes.  How wrong I was.  Castro boots an easy grounder.  And Chinstrap Feldman can't cover first base (twice).  Result 4 runs.  Boy.  When the wheels come off the bus for the Chicago Cubs, the bus also bursts into flames, under an acid rain cloud, while an earth quake tears the ground on which Mongol warriors slaughter the women and children.  The Cubs crack under pressure.  They cant handle  pressure or adversity, and before you know it, there are 7 runs on the board for the other guys.  As a Cub fan, I know better to be confident, ever.  Winning by 5 runs in the middle of the game does not guarantee a victory.  Especially when you give the World Champion Giants 5 outs in an inning.  But we could have won this one.  Castro fields the grounder and we win.

Further illustrating the Cubs cracking under pressure when the chips are down, are the strikeouts of Clevenger (8th), Rizzo and Castro (9th), with a runner in scoring position.  All it would have taken was for one of these guys to get a base hit, and the games at least tied.  And Rizzo and Castro are our best players!  They just can't deliver when the game is on the line.  And that's just sad.  Theo has emphasized only swinging at pitches you can do something with.  Pitch selection.  But now these guys just stand there with the bat on their shoulder watching called strikes whizz by them.  Listen.  I'm not saying I can do better.  But this new approach seems to result in called third strikes.  No me Gusta!  I have not drunk the Theo Kool Aid as of yet.  This whole "process thing" from the wonder boy from Boston.  Remember where the Red Sox finished after he left?  Last place.  Remember where all those high priced free agents Theo signed are now?  Yeah.  Dodgers.  I'm not going to sit and trust this "process"  when it results in losses.  So, this is a rebuilding year....blah blah blah....what the hell are we building?  Great pitching?  Defense?  Slugging?  Speed? What?!  I don't see it.  Maybe all the future wins are buried in saber metrics.

Speaking of metrics.  I mentioned I only paid 6$ for Terrace reserved yesterday, which of course means 6$ for terrace box (you gotta sneak past the old man ushers if you wanna sit further down).  6$ on Stub Hub.  And if you recall a story from this winter about the Cubs doing a different deal with Stub Hub, the result is you have to buy tickets by 7:20 AM for a 1:20 start.  6 hours before game time. Instead of last years 2 hours.  I waited til 7:19 and bought the tickets.  The price had not changed since the night before.  But the moment I bought the tickets.  The prices shot up to 7$.  Like, just because I'm an idiot who wants to sit in the cold rain, and watch a team that has a good chance at finishing in last place, there must be other idiots like me ready to snatch up tickets.  First of all.  I'm resentful at the Ricketts for the 6 hour cut off time.  It's ridiculous!  Do you want people to come to these games or not?  Do you know what looks terrible on TV?  An empty stadium.  Nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd.  And with no one there, it looks like a lame scene.  Who is sitting there at home watching this sparse crowd, and saying to themselves..."Hey!  That looks like fun! I'm gonna sit in the freezing rain with nobody and watch the Cubs lose!"  The only excited fans yesterday were school groups.  They should just let kids in for free.  Hell they should let us all in for free.  I spent 34$ on a Stanley Burger (which was quite good), and 3 beers.  So yeah...they should go back to the 2 hour window.  It's just petty, and annoying considering the team they are currently fielding.

So what's on tap?  I gotta work today, and watch some little kids play soccer in the burbs tomorrow.  But I'll be back at the game Sunday!  It's supposed to be nice and warm and sunny!  I'll be singing a different tune by then I hope.  Come on boys.  Lets get em today.

Go Cubbies!

http://www.sonranto.com

The Cubs Look Bad in Hotlanta and other Matters

Here is a list of Cubs position players in Atlanta last night who do not have a hit this year.  Sappelt, DeJesus, Lillibridge, Valbuena.  Here is a list of Position players batting under .200.  Hairston,  Navarro, Rizzo, Soriano.  This is not good.  Obviously not good.  Terrible.  Ok.  Fine it's April and it's colder.  As far as I'm concerned.  Excuses Excuses.  The cold doesn't make a batter swing at a pitch one foot outside the strike zone does it?  Does the cold make you miss hit and run signs?  I mean, as exciting as Dionner "la casa" Navarro is trying to steal second base is, I still only want to see that sort of thing on Celebrity Fit Club not in a Major League baseball game.

Other reasons why the Cubs look bad.  I think Scott Feldman and Beef Wellington Castillo need an interpreter more than Takahashi.  Judging by Feldmans chin strap beard, he is obviously Amish and speaks an obscure German dialect, while Castillo's original language is Spanish.  How else could you explain 2 wild pitches, 4 walks, a hit batsman and 3 stolen bases?  The battery looked like it was shorting out last night.  To further pick on Feldman, while attempting to cover first base on a grounder to Rizzo, Feldman missed the base by a few inches, and that run later scored.  How many times did they run that drill in Spring Training?  1000?  I don't know.  Except for that it's just fundamentally shitty fielding.  Feldman also committed an error.  Did I mention he kind of pitched like shit too?  Well.  He did.  So far, not a fan of the chinstrap.

Ok.  I would rather watch Ron Santo's legless ghost play 3rd base than Brent Lillibridge.  Not only is he a career .209 hitter who belongs in his home town in Washington State coaching high school baseball and teaching remedial math class to learning disabled kids, but he's also a leprechaun.  Nuff said.  My prediction?  The pot of gold is hidden under home plate, because he doesn't ever leave the batters box when its his turn at bat.

Anthony Rizzo struck out thrice last night.  He chased pitches all night long.  He looked like shit.  This is the future people.  Our future.  I know we all think he's the second less drunk coming of Mark Grace, but it's unproven.  Professional pitchers know how to miss his bat.

Other miscues...Alberto Gonzales clearly was out of position to tag a runner stealing second, which pissed off Beef Wellington, resulting in some of those afore mentioned pitcher/ catcher crossups, and a run.  The Cubs struck out 9 times and didn't walk once.  Swinging and missing badly on many a third strike.  Oh....and they only scored one run.  On a home run, with no one on base.  And they lost.

The one positive take away?  Carlos Marmol did not appear in this game.

Now on the podcast, located here,  I predicted we would lose this game and win the next two.  So far I'm right, I just didn't think the Cubbies would look so bad losing.  One the bright side, Carlos Villanueva is going against Julio Teheran who is basically a rookie.  Gives me some semblance of hope we can scratch a win out.

One interesting thing to watch for, and I'm going to predict it here.  There will be a fist fight in this series.  You may know about the Braves GM waving the Cubs relief pitchers off the field while they were playing catch in the outfield.  Check the story out here...There were two hit batters last night.  Add a little batting frustration, and you got yourself a Donnybrook!  Maybe it'll light a fire under their ass....

OK.  Enough with the nay saying!  Let's go get em tonight!!!

Off Day Blues

After running down to Montrose Beach to interview Boban Simic, a cage fighter who swims in the icy waters of Lake Michigan, and taking a 2 hour nap, I realized the Cubs off-days might prove to be more interesting than the days the Cubs are playing, where I predictably drink beer and sit on my ass, while texting brain farts to the Lovable Lou Sears.  I did get some baseball in however, successfully rooted against the Brewers, which gives the Cubs sole possession of first place for the next 12 hours or so at least.  Enjoy it while it lasts.  I switched over to watch Yu Darvish blow his perfect game.  which is hilarious because I love the look on fan's faces when they thought they were going to witness history, and instead have to tell the same story I've told about Eddie Milner breaking up Chuck Raineys NO-NO in 1983.  I was 9,  and it still hurts.  I was at Johan Santanas no-hitter last year at Citi Field, but i was on a terrible OK Cupid date with this fat Philipino chick who laughed like Sylvester the cat, so I didn't even have that much fun.  But I digress.  Here's what disappointment looks like....

Ha.  Freaking Ha!

So after watching Darvish blow the perfect game, I switched over to Bob Brenly and the DBacks hoping to root against the Cardinals, but I failed miserably and the Red Droppings won.  By the end of the night, it was Vin Scully and the Dodgers, but alas it was the 9th inning already, so when that all ended I was forced onto youtube to watch fat people falling until I got tired enough to fall asleep.  Damned naps keep me up to the middle of the night.

My overall point is.  Baseball is back.  And i cannot get enough.  So much so, that I may just shell out the 11 bucks to sit in the box seats at "The Cell" today just to watch a little baseball live and in person before the Cubs home opener next week.  Could someone please send me a private message at sonranto@gmail.com to remind me which way to where my hat, and what colors not to wear in order to not get shot at while on the South Side?  I definitely won't wear any Cubs gear because then they'll know I'm lost, and I'll end up singing the baby sitting blues at some dingy hole in the wall before I can get back north.  Actually, that would be kind of fun.  And I prefer the company of minorities and women, so it might just work out perfectly.  White people are pretty boring.  Sorry.

Well, hopefully, I can make it back uptown for the Cubbies 6:05 start.  It doesn't matter anyway because I don't have cable, so I can watch the game anywhere BUT my apartment.  Maybe I'll see what the Lovable Lou Sears is doing and mooch a couple of beers off him.  He's not supposed to drink because of the gout and I have a feeling that his wife is going to hate him, and subsequently me by the end of June.  My divorce is pending.  Lou's still married, and I Son Ranto aim to keep it that way.  

So tonight!  Edwin Jackson vs. Wandy Rodriguez.  Let's just hope Lillibridge is somewhere guarding his pot of gold and doesn't play, and Marmol is spotted a 5 run lead in the 9th.  Fingers crossed people.

Play ball.

Your First Place Chicago Cubs!!

While the hated St. Louis Bird Droppings languish in last place, the Cubs sit atop the NL Central!  Many that has a nice ring to it!  Our magic number is now 161.  And if we extrapolate the performances of the players yesterday, Anthony Rizzo will hit 162 home runs.  Brent Lillibridge will strike out 486 times.  And Carlos Marmol will almost lose every game for us.  But let's stay positive for a moment....

First of all.  A special thanks to Three Aces Bar on Taylor st.  and Benny the bartender for not judging me for drinking in the day time.  The lovable Lou Sears and I had a lovely afternoon drinking Left Handed Stout.  I also ate a delicious pulled pork sandwich, kale salad, and the best tomato soup ever for only 10$.  And yes.  That was a commercial.  The game seemed to zip by, as Samardzija just mowed em down.  9 strike outs, 2 hits, 0 runs, 8 innings.  Do we have a bonified ace now?  Lou Sears is convinced he's the second coming of Randy Johnson.  I still remain unconvinced until his fastball kills a bird.

Yeah...the Shark was great!  Let's hope this trend continues, and when the rest of the staff is healthy, we might actually make things interesting in the Central this year.  Like the Pirates last year.  Castro and Castillo had 2/3 of the Cubs 6 hits, which basically means that the rest of the team, besides Rizzo who homered didn't do anything.  Soriano struck out twice, and Lillibridge, that elf looking MoFo, was horrible.  3 Ks and an error.  We need our Dar Bar back and fast!  

OK.  Marmol.  WTF.  

He should not close a game ever.  It's over for him.  I'm sorry, but it just is.  Marmol was a great 8th inning guy.  But in the 9th.  He's a head case.  Why in the hell do pitchers treat the 9th inning with such a different energy?  Just go up there, execute each pitch, and get the guy out!  No matter what inning it is!  One pitch at a time.  Carlos Marmol is incapable of closing ballgames.  Period.  I have no idea if Fujikawa is any good.  All I know is, he got the save yesterday,and was pumped his fist when he got the fly ball to center to save the game.  So Dale.  Mr. Sveum.  Please.  Don't ever let Carlos Marmol pitch in the 9th inning.  Please.  Thank You.  

So who else sucked?  Lillibridge.  I actually think I hate him.  First of all, he's an ex White Sox.  Second of all.  He sucks.  and he looks like an elf.  Or a troll.  All I know is he's better off on Lucky Charms boxes and not playing second base.  I'd rather see Aaron Fucking Miles hitting weak scribblers to second than watch Brent "Magically delicious" Lillibridge play baseball.  Got it.   Dar Bar come back to us!!!

After the game, The lovable Lou Sears and I went over to the Billy Goat Tavern and met up with friends and did shots of Malort until we were either gonna sleep or fight.  Big thanks to our Bar Tender Jeff who kept me and the boys in line.  We capped off the night with an amazing Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds concert at the beautiful Chicago Theater.  Seriously incredible show.  And the perfect end to what turned out to be the best opening day I've had in a looooonngggg time....

So what's next?  Edwin Jackson debuts for the North Siders against Wandy Rodriguez.  Wandy always seems to pitch the Cubbies tough, and we've seen a lot of him in a Houston uniform.  I actually wish he was on our team.  I'd rather have him than Scott Baker at this point. Anyhow, he's on the Pirates now, and we gotta figure out a way to beat him on Wednesday night.  I'm psyched to see what Edwin Jackson can do  for us.  We've got him for 4 years and 52 million.  So...he better not get injured, and he'd better win 80 games through 2017.  Got it?

Go Cubbies.