For example, on Monday, in the bleachers, our group including The lovable Lou Sears, participated in the age old bleacher tradition of razzing the right fielder. Chris Denorfia and Kyle Blanks got an earful from us about how his father is a lousy drunk, and his wife is cheating on him. None of it informed, and most likely not true, but it's nice to know they can hear you. I once yelled to Donald Trump that he sucked at a Mets game. He was only about 20 feet away, and he didn't react, but I know he heard me, and that was satisfaction enough to know that he knew someone in the stands that day thought he sucked. The same is true of opposing players. they should know they suck too. I love booing their every move. It's my right as a ticket holder, and I learned to do it as an impressional 13 year old in the Left Field Bleachers. I learned how to swear, how to jeer, and unfortunately about how drunk guys can tend to be homophobic pricks. Yet, in our current cultural climate, lets say, Generation Y, raised with time outs instead of spankings, participation trophies where everyone's a winner, and a general hipster nerd chic, is not as interested in the negativity spewed from those in Generation X through the boomers and beyond. These idiots even tried to do the damned "Wave" on Monday night, while me and a few old timers yelled back, "No Wave!" Later on, Lou, my friend Antonio and I tried to get a little "Left Field Sucks" going. But these, "free to be you and me hipster geeks" weren't the slightest bit interested, so I yelled out, "Fine! Lets do the wave, ya pansies!" Basically, Lou Sears and I have become those jerk offs who taught my 13 year old former self how to be a loud brash asshole at a ball game. Except for the homophobia. We've had parents yell at us for our language and volume, and Lou Sears says something like, "Family Sections over there folks!". Basically, we are total pricks and I hope we are influencing some young pre teen to carry on Wrigley Field's brash Bleacher tradition. Furthermore , Monday was the anniversary of the Lee Elia tirade. Check it out here...
It seems, especially relevant on an important date in Cubs history such as the Lee Elia Tirade, that we could at least honor Lee with some vitriolic slander of the opposing outfielders personal life. It's only right. Bleacher Bums! Get it together. We are meaner than this. Find your inner hate, and spew it!
Now, I said this is a tale of two Cubs games. I sat in terrace reserved on Tuesday and watched the Cubs get blown the hell out. 13-7. A game plagued with errors, lack of clutch hitting, and for the first time this season, pretty horrific starting pitching from Edwin Jackson. Also, It must have been gay athlete appreciation night, because there were a ton of gay people there. Which is great! Considering the recent coming out of Jayson Collins, and the fact that the ballpark is pretty much situated in boys town. I don't know if they would ever do this, but they should have gay pride night, just like they'll do Irish appreciation, or German October fest. I would be at that game in a heartbeat. Win or Lose, the game would be fun as shit. Because Gays are awesome. Period. End of Story. If you've never been to a gay pride parade, you don't know what your missing. It's like Carnivale in freakin Rio! Imagine that kind of atmosphere at Wrigley! They kind of have it too "Out at Wrigley" is August 3rd...check this article out here.... but I wish they associated it with Actual Chicago Gay Pride which spans the last two weekends in June. The Cubs are in Seattle during the pride parade, but can you imagine if they had the floats do a circle around the stadium? It would be incredible! Also, if the Cubs were to come out strongly in support of Gays, what would that do to our fan base? A. Grow it exponentially. B. We'd have a return of the hilarious vitriol that I so miss in the Bleachers. (If you're unfamiliar, gays are often times incredible at snapping on people) Quick witted and sharp because of all the pain they've endured from homophobic neanderthals. I know there will be people that hate the idea, but just like I'm right that there shouldn't be a new ad spewing video screen, there should be hilarious, drunk, gay fans yelling obscenities at opposing players outfielders. Oh Snap!
Well, I'll be back again tonight. Where we'll have the tale of two beards. Chinstrap Feldman vs. Andrew "beard of bees" Cashner. Don't have a lot of hope for this one, but you never know. At least there may be some hilarious gay people around me. That would make the game more tolerable.
and our website http://www.sonranto.com
Let's turn those Padres into martyrs tonight! Avenge 1984!!!
Go Cubbies!
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