Friday, May 24, 2013

Cubs Swept in Pittsburgh; But I Won!

Well, at least I won 42$ at video roulette at Rivers Casino after the ballgame.  But unfortunately, I seem to be the only entity associated with the Cubs, who has anything to do with the word "win".  It was a stormy Thursday afternoon in Pittsburgh, and with Edwin Jackson showing early in the game that he didn't have his best stuff, getting tagged for 2 runs in each of the first two innings, the rains came as a Cub rally killer with 2 outs, 1 in and 2 on in the 4th.  Ending both Jackson's day and my afternoon sobriety.  Even though I said I wasn't going to drink at this one, a two hour rain delay in a stadium where you can't smoke has a way of changing these self made promises.  The game continued, and our bullpen was lights out!  Unfortunately, the lights were also out on the Cubs bats.  Millionaire Cubs such as Anthony "Fo Shizzo" Rizzo went 0-13 in the series, Soriano 3-12, Castro 3-13, and overall the Cubs  failed to score runs.  So either the Pirates are really good, or the Cubs are terrible.  You pick.

The best thing about yesterday's game was sitting in the left field, where I had a great view of Soriano's butt.  I like Soriano, he engages the hecklers in aloof and confusing ways, he dances to the opposing batters walk up music, and he likes to watch the replays of him and his fellow teammates on the video screen in left field.  Here he is getting ready for nothing to happen.


After the rain delay, I correctly predicted that people were going to be inebriated at the resumption of the game.  I was right.  A Pirate fan who looked like actor Paul Giamatti when he played "Pig Vomit" in the Howard Stern movie, began to heckle Soriano as soon as he took the field in the 5th.  This man was  not as funny as he thought he was, and was told repeatedly by the staff to sit down and be quiet.  I  retaliated Son Ranto style and heckled Pig Vomit by yelling to Soriano in spanish.  "Los fanaticos son gordos y pelados!"  Translated, "the fans are fat and bald".  Which they are.  I include myself in this as well.  The Pirates are very serious about their fans conduct, and lay out rules before the game about swearing and fighting, as to socially engineer their fans into acting respectfully.  Judging by the mustachioed gentlemen spitting his Skoal laden chaw onto the floor as he topped the escalator, I would say these rule reminders  are probably justified around these parts.  But overall, everyone was very nice to me.  Mostly because I'm a Cub fan and they feel bad for me.  But the long suffering Pirate fans deserve a decent ball club after over 20 seasons of losing baseball.  I hope Pig Vomit and Skoal man get their championship.  They deserve it before they die of some horrible disease in 5 or 6 years.  

Speaking of dying of a horrible disease!  When entering the ballpark yesterday, I saw paramedics wheeling a wheezing man, clutching his chest.  He was apparently dying of a heart attack, but there didn't seem to be much urgency in the step of the paramedics.  Judging by the food options at the stadium, this is probably just a work a day event for these guys.  Note to self, don't have a heart attack at PNC park.   It probably wasn't the best idea to eat this pulled pork pierogi sandwich.  In fact, the invention of a pulled pork pierogi sandwich was also not the best idea.  


It's as delicious as it looks.  Whatever that means to you....

All in all, Pittsburghs a great town!  There are lots of gays.  IE good food, and cool shops.  My cousin took me to her friend Stu's Zombie store, House of the Dead.  Check it out if your in Pitt.  Stu's awesome and knows a ton about the history of Zombies in Pittsburgh. We saw an Oompah band playing 80's songs and danced on the tables.  The Casino is walking distance to the ballpark and you can park there for free.  Did I mention I won 42$?! I went to Banjo night at the Elks lodge and drank 6$ pitchers of beer AND I could smoke in my hotel room!  Something that never happens anymore.  Ever.  So, thanks Pittsburgh! I had a great time even though the Cubs didnt......

Off to Cincinnati now.  Lets hope we don't get swept again.  But I have a bad feeling.  Tonight, we've got Scott Feldman against the Reds Bronson Arroyo.  We shall see.  Go Cubbies!

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Oh!  And look at these purty picthahs!









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