Cubs Forego Human Manager; Hire Manager-O-Tron 6000

In a move that has shocked baseball purists, the Chicago Cubs announced Wednesday that in lieu of hiring a new human manager to replace disgraced outgoing skipper, Dale Sveum, they will be pursuing an ongoing partnership with Gateway computers and their latest creation the "Manager-O-Tron 6000",  commonly referred to as the "MOT-6"

Given the Cubs recent emphasis on baseball analytics, and the implementation of "instant replay" and "managerial challenges", which begin next season, Theo Epstein, the Cubs President said Wednesday, "It's time to think ahead for the Chicago Cubs.  Managers are generally old and grouchy, some of them smell terrible, and they have annoying dietary restrictions and special travel needs which are time consuming and expensive.  Sabermetric analysis has proven that managers generally win or lose between 3-5 games a year for their team, while the Manager-O-Tron 6000, has been shown in clinical studies to provide at least an 8 game positive swing for even the worst of ball clubs, such as the one the Cubs are currently fielding."  Epstein added.  "We consider ourselves pioneers in using modern technology to improve the mediocre product on the field and the game of baseball.  With our partners at Gateway, we hope to inspire MLB to consider the use of Robot Umpires, Virtual Foul Poles, and 'Green' concession stands, powered by Fan's clapping.   The Mot 6 is another step  in modernizing our beloved past time."

The Mot 6 is designed to not only make game time decisions, such as player substitutions, when to hit and run, or bring the outfield in a step, but the Mot 6 bases these decisions on the players themselves in real time.  Each Cubs' player must now be microchipped as to provide the MOT 6 with specific data on diet, sleep, exercise, and sexual prowess.  Mental well being of the players is also factored by the Mot 6's ability to monitor hormone levels indicating frustration, sadness, fear, anger and joy.   The Mot 6 then analyzes this data and provides managerial services such as Days off, restaurant recommendations, Escort services, and Pep talks to both the team and individuals, collected from the wealth of inspirational material from around the globe.  If a player is feeling sad, the Mot 6 may quote "Chicken Soup for the Soul" and provide a hopeful onscreen Ziggy comic, or if a player recently had sex, he may be moved up or down in the batting order that day, depending on his performance and emotional confidence levels.  The MOT 6 can also access all major Religious texts and self help books, famous rally speeches from movies, and dirty jokes in 17 languages, to provide the Clubhouse with a comfortable, dynamic and customizable player experience. 

Much to the delight of Umpires, who often times spend minutes of every game deciphering the illegibly shaky handwriting of detoxing Managers, the Manager-O-Tron 6000 has the ability to improve daily managerial tasks, such as printing it's own daily lineup sheets based upon the most favorable matchups, complete with a variety of fonts and emoticons.

However, the MOT 6 is predicted to also be thorn in the side of MLB Umpires.  Having the ability to insult each umpire uniquely based upon his history of blown calls and personal information, such as Mothers name and DUI arrest record, all while using facial recognition software to know when it's pushed the official too far in order to not be thrown out of the game, make the Mot 6 the most effective arguer in baseball.  However, when data suggests it would inspire the team and crowd to be booted from a game, The Mot 6 has the ability to kick dirt on an umpires shoes to not only be ousted, but to clean out the Mot 6's cooling fans from dust and debris.  This "self cleaning" manager is a far cry from sponge baths demanded by Mike Quade, or Lou Piniella's daily pedicures.  

"It just makes sense for us." Epstein said. "The Mot 6 is efficient verbally at conveying the teams message at press conferences.  Never saying "Look", "Well", or "You Know" incessantly like managers past. It's been programmed to stir up controversy when fan's interest wanes throughout the season by tweeting inappropriate comments about a players wife.  And it doesn't eat anything!" Epstein added, "If I could field a team of Mot 6's I would!  But we're not there yet...."

We're not there yet indeed.  The St. Louis Cardinals have filed a protest with MLB, complaining that the Mot 6 flies in the face of their ability to constantly hire talented human managers who lead them to championships.  They argue a Robo-Manager amounts to nothing more than cheating and a money saving gimmick to make a mediocre team, watchable.  

MLB has the final say in the matter, but Theo Epstein already has a plan B.  Epstein said, "If Baseball won't allow a Computer manager, the solution is simple and lucrative.  Fans would pay millions of dollars over the course of the year to be manager for a day.  We would still use Mot 6 for every day clubhouse operations and team issues, but the millions generated by middle aged men living out their boyhood fantasy by managing the Cubs for a day, would be enough to buy 12 year old talent from the Dominican Republic, and build the team until 2030 for contracts as low as 35,000 and a milk cow."  

Is the Mot 6 the Jackie Robinson for Robots in baseball?  Or the Steam drill to John Henry's human sledgehammer.  Either way, the Mot 6 is here, and the currently acting manager of the Chicago Cubs.

May God have mercy on our souls.

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The Art of War: Chicago Style

Well, a third team, in 3 series's, has now clinched the playoffs and/or division against the Chicago Cubs.  Take your medicine boys. Take your medicine.  It's good for you.  You must stare into the face of the people that wrong you, and desensitize yourself, in order to overcome the adversity before you.  I liken this clinch fest to when I would stare at photo's of my ex wife and I together in happier times, in order to not have a knee jerk emotional reaction every time I caught a passing glimpse of her.  You gotta get angry, and you gotta get tough to get yourself through the tough times.  Steel your soul.  Look at these champion teams.  Really look at them.  Look them right in their champagne soaked begoggled eyes.  The fools!  

Watch them jumping up and down, like teenage girls with Bieber fever, on the mound at your ballpark!

Study your enemy closely Cubbies.  You should be seething with envy and hatred at your adversary. Read the Art of War by Lao Tzu.  Study the brutal tactics of Ghengis Khan and the Mongols, who slaughtered Central Asia, just as the Cubs must slaughter the National League Central.  Every Cub needs to find their inner Grizzly Bear during this off season.  Hang pictures of the 3 teams who beat you this last week all over your house until you are enveloped with vengeful thoughts.  Every day, you will be motivated to get meaner, stronger, more focused.  You must make your heart cold.  Full of hate.  Your mind electric.  And your soul bitter with envy.  Yes!  Do this Chicago Cubs!!

Oh, and would it kill you to take a little batting practice too?  Maybe hit the fall and winter league's?

Last night was just embarrassing.

Because next year.....

I still can't watch this without crying....

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Last Days at Wrigley 2013

Baseballwise, the best thing that happened to the Cubs in this final home series against the Pirates, was to avoid being swept on Wednesday.  But regardless of the elimination (around May in reality) of the Cubs, and any hopes of a miraculous playoff run, there was of course still great fun to be had at the Wrigley.  6 dollar tickets, final Old Style beers, and meeting internet friends in person seemed to be the order of the final days and nights at the nearly century old ballpark.  

Monday night, I spent the evening sitting next to some Pirate fans, who, I guess I'm rooting for this year.  Even though their long suffering fanbase hasn't really shown up until now, any team with 20 straight years of losing baseball, is worthy of a cheer or two from my mouth.  Behind me sat a Mexican contractor and some of his team (possibly family), sitting with a young white man supplier, who to my ears, had the accent of a first generation American.  They did drunken business all night, discussing materials, costs, and a bit of gossip over numerous cervezas and a little baseball watching.  That game was 1-0 Pirates, and one of the quickest games of the year.  I didn't even go out to smoke until the 6th!

Let's go Bucs?  Sure.  Why not....

The first time the older gentlemen came to Wrigley was in the 1960's.  According to legend, he took a train with a buddy of his from Central Illinois, but was too drunk at the time to remember much of his experience.  He fondly recalled Cubs players from the time like Glenn Beckert and Randy Hundley, in addition to your Ernie Banks's and Billy Williams's.  Remember when the Cubs had stars on the team?They were nice people, and I hope they are still cheering the Bucs deep into October.  Anyone but the Cardinals!

Unfortunately for the Cubs, even the closed circuit TV system has given up on our Cubbies!

Tuesday, I was able to meet up with a Twitter friend Josh, @jmorg17, and his buddy Ryan.  I had seats up in the balcony, but sat with these guys for 4 or 5 innings behind a pole.  

These guys were huge fans, but I still managed to win a dollar off of Ryan by betting him the skyboxes were full operational in the 80's not the 70's.  My sister and I used to run from wherever our seats were to watch Harry Caray moving from the TV booth to radio and back after the 3rd and before the 6th innings, from high up in Terrace Reserved.  Thats was before the skyboxes, and it was definitely the mid 80's.  Either way, I ended up a dollar richer.  The answer was 1989.  I barely squeaked out the victory.

Tuesday night was also my last Old Style at Wrigley, unless of course the online petition works out for them.  You can sign it here if you care.  Old Style is a crappy beer, but it's our crappy beer.  And you know what?  All the beers at Wrigley are relatively crappy.  Major brand beers like Becks and Dos Equis don't even serve up their signature brands, with Dos Equis being the Lager, not their regular brew, and Becks is called Sapphire, which has a malt liquor flavor to it.  The Sapphire is your highest alcohol content for the money, topping 6%, just in case you were looking to get sloppy.  Don't even get me started on Bud and Bud lite.  These beers don't give much of a buzz at all, unless you count diarrhea as a buzz.  

But of course the Rickett's family in their infinite quest for cash had to go with the highest bidder.  I'm fine with it all if they spend money on the team, but that doesn't seem to be their plan.  It's all about savings and trying to make a team work without spending the money.  That's what Money Ball's all about!  I'm doubtful that approach will work in Chicago no matter what kind of beer we're drinking.  Not holding my breath, but hoping the concessions are upgraded next year, especially the beer selection.  There are so many delicious micro brews in the area, couldn't there be one stand somewhere with some Belgian beers like Duvel or how about a Sierra Nevada, or even a real Becks Pilsner!  Additionally, the only food worth eating is the Stanley Burger, the Chicago Dog, and Uncle Dougies pulled pork.  Unfortunately, save the Chicago Dog, you really have to go searching for the other two sandwiches.  

The food and beer at Wrigley are crap.  They could do better, but the almighty dollar speaks louder than the all mighty taste bud.

My final day at Wrigley started with a Champagne brunch with some actor friends from Trapdoor Theatre, at my apartment, a mile north of the ballpark.  I made breakfast burrito's for everyone and we walked down to the bleachers on what proved to be a beautiful day for all of us, including the Cubs who won the game 4-2 on a surprise Darnell McDonald 3 run homer.  I met up with the guy who sold me  his season tickets on Sunday, a Bostonian named Adam Polegreen, and his son, who had a sack full of balls, some of them signed, attained during batting practice.  Adam's a super nice guy, and he loves his Cubbies, and his Red Sox.  I wish I liked another team that was any good, but unfortunately my other adopted team from nearly two decades of living in NYC, is the Mets.  Hell, I could never be a Yankee fan!  

Unfortunately, I was drinking my last crappy Old Style the night before, as the bleachers ran out of the stuff.  In fact, premium beer after premium beer ran out as the game went on.  I drank Pabst.  It was the perfect day for it all.  A great way to end out my season at the shrine, but somehow, whoever runs the sound at Wrigley managed to louse up Go Cubs Go.  Is this a harbinger of doom for next year?  Or just the final series in St. Louis.  Or as Pat Hughes annoyingly says...."St. Lou".

Listen at 2:20.

As a musician, producer, and engineer, the sound at Wrigley has been run horribly this year.  Feedback, Weird Gary Pressey organ rhythms, and inconsistent volumes throughout the game have me thinking someone's stupid nephew got the job, and not a professional.  This final screw up is just icing on a bad cake.  Maybe it's all on purpose, to have us all accept thundering scoreboard sounds as an upgrade from the mediocre sonic vision that currently flatly falls on the patrons ears of the Friendly Confines.

Well, 3 more games, then the long dark winter.  Makin me feel like this...

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A Cubs Fan Craigslist Story

Well folks, as my first season as a Cubs blogger winds down, I celebrate my 100th post.  Luckily, this year, unlike 2012, the Cubs won't be lamenting their 100th loss.  With only 6 more games left to play, the worst we could do is lose 97.  While this has been a disappointing season for all of us Cubs' fans, and many of the Cubs players, it hasn't been without its small personal victories.  Even yesterday, the Braves division clinching celebration was slightly muted given that they clinched in the 6th inning when the Nationals lost to the lowly Marlins.  The Braves did manage to celebrate, but it wasn't the same as if the moment coincided with a 3rd Cub out.  

The Braves anticlimactic celebration in the shadowed gloaming of Wrigley Field.

Yes, small victory indeed. 

But being a Cubs fan isn't about winning.  That much is obvious.  It's about community.

Yesterday, I bought a 20$ Craigslist bleacher ticket from a season ticket holder named Adam Polegreen.  He lives in Boston, but is completely enamored with Wrigley Field and brings his son to Chicago as much as possible.  On the tickets he doesn't have opportunity to use, he takes a bath on the face value.  My thriftiness doesn't help the matter either, nor does he Cubs mediocre performance this year which has me paying under 10$ average on all games.  

Anyway, I didn't bite at the 28$ Stubhub ticket, and bought on Craigstlist.  Given that every time I mess around with Craigslist I am invited by some Ghanian missionary to transfer 100,000 dollars to my bank account in an effort to separate me from my own dwindling funds, I was skeptical as to the validity of the Bleacher ticket.  But after texting with Mr. Polegreen, I was reassured that my ticket would be valid, or at least this thief only got 20$ and went to great lengths in acting the part of a diehard Cub's fan.  

Cubs' fans all over the world might appreciate our text exchange...so here it is....

All texted like true Cubs' fans.  

Even though we lost the game, and I had to deal with drunken screaming Braves' fan girls who kept urging each other to flash Evan Gattis, who was playing Left Field yesterday....(apparently they were flashing the rooftops earlier), I had a great time sitting in the sun watching baseball.

Stay Classy Atlanta.

So thank you for the ticket Mr. Polegreen.  Whether the Cubs win or lose.  Wrigley Field truly is a worthy addiction.

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A Wrigley Field Guide to a Braves Celebration

Given that the Braves were beaten yesterday by the Cubs, and the Nationals were rained out, the Braves fans who traveled to Chicago to witness an on field celebration by their beloved team, will have to hold off their tomahawk chopping at least until today if they win, or tonight if the Nationals lose. 

 Much ado has been made about the Dodgers recent "pool party" celebration in Arizona.  Even presidential campaign loser and professional grumpy old man, Senator John McCain waded into the critical waters by tweeting....

  

If the Braves win today, how can they top the Dodger celebration at Wrigley?  The Budweiser Russian Baths won't be ready until after the revenue generating pedestrian mall and scoreboard are fully operational.  But there are ways the Braves can be just as disrespectful to our home park, and as a Chicagoan and Wrigley Field enthusiast, I have a few suggestions.

1.  Ride goats around the outfield in a victory lap.  Allowing the goats to stop and nibble on our beloved ivy.  

2.  Hit home runs to each other, and keep the ball.

3.  Put ketchup on their victory hot dogs.

4.  Sing root root root for the White Sox during the 7th inning stretch.

5.  Eat NY Style slices off of home plate.

6.  Install electronics in our beloved manually operated scoreboard.

7.  Cover our beloved Harry Caray statue in snow, reminding Chicagoans what a hard, cold winter we have ahead of us.

8.  Buy a rooftop on Waveland and let the fans in free. (17% of 0 is 0)

(This is the sign that's up there now, I took this pic yesterday....ugh)

9.  Let Greg Maddux pitch the 9th against us for the save.

10.  Install seat backs on the bleachers.

Of course, I hope the Braves lose today.  In fact, I always hope the Braves lose unless they're playing the Cardinals.  

Being the helpful Cubs' fans you are, I'm sure you have plenty more suggestions. Let's hear em!

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The Making's of a Cubs Fan

Yesterday, I plopped myself down on the couch at 11:30 AM, nursing a '2 bottle of Pinot Noir' hangover, and tasked with baby sitting my sister's 3 year old son.  I was hoping for an exciting WGN Cubs game to lift my spirits and turn 'The Boy' as I call him, into a Cubs fan.  My last effort of bringing him to Wrigley resulted in a 2 hour nap on his dad's lap.  

So, 'The Boy' as I call him, is at the "why" stage of his short existence, but he knows his numbers.  A few hours into the game, he looked up at the screen and said "The Cubs have 6 points!  And the other team has zero!"  I corrected him that they are called "runs" and filled him in on the information that it was just the opposite.  The Reds had 6 and the Cubs had 0, and being the 7th inning, the Cubs were likely to lose today.  'The Boy' said, "Why will the Cubs lose today?".  I said, "Because they're not very good this year".  'The Boy' pressed on, "Why aren't the Cubs very good this year". I said, "I didn't know", hoping that the barrage of questions I've been dealing with since last Saturday, would cease.  But he delved deeper, "But why do the Cubs have 0 and the Reds have 6?", I said, "Because the Cubs don't hit very well, and if you can't hit, you can't score runs."  He asked, "Why can't the Cubs score any runs?"  I said, "I just told you, because they can't hit, and the pitcher isn't doing very well today for the Cubs. So they're losing."  He asked, "Why isn't the pitcher doing very well?" I said, "because he gave up 6 runs to the Reds".  "Why?" 'The Boy' asked.  I said, "Because this guy (Jeff Samakbfibfribf) is supposed to be good, but he's only good sometimes." 'The Boy' exclaimed "But I want the Cubs to Win!".  I said "Me too buddy.  Me too, but today they're gonna lose".

Later on that evening, as I switched back and forth between the Mets vs. Nats, and Red Sox vs. Rays on my Apple TV, 'The Boy' saw the Cubs logo for that afternoon's archived game, and exclaimed, "I want to watch the Cubs!"  I said "The Cubs aren't on, that's the game we watched earlier, and the Cubs lost 6-0 remember?  We don't want to watch that again!"  The kid says, "But I DO want to watch the Cubs!", and insisted that I put the game on.  So I say, "you want to watch the Cubs even though you know they're going to lose?!"  It was then I realized..... he is a Cubs fan.  

Son Ranto and 'The Boy'

He hates having his picture taken....

Cubs Get Dirty Sanchezed

Ok.  So it's not totally Eduardo Sanchez's fault that the Cubs lost in the 11th inning yesterday, but his 3 walks and 1 hit allowed that resulted in 2 runs certainly didn't help matters either.  The Cubs battled back in this one too, tying it up in the 7th.  The bullpen, except Sanchez was decent, not allowing a single run in 4 innings of work.  The Cubs had a few opportunities to win this one, but unfortunately, the league has found out that Junior Lake can't hit a breaking ball.  At least last night he couldn't.  Weakness found.  Batting average lowered.  Hopefully not to the point of a Rizzo or Castro who are batting .234 and .247 respectively.  Even David DeJesus is only batting .255 right now, and Darwin Barney, a lowly .214.  This is why the Cubs lost yesterday.  Our "good" players aren't that good.  Our "mediocre" players are decent though.  Good enough to sock a couple of homers yesterday, thank you Dionner Navarro, Nate Schierholtz and Donnie Murphy.  Maybe we should be like the Rays and field mostly players you never heard of.  I'm sure most fans in other cities, and Chicago for that matter, have never heard of half the Cubs players.  Except for Starlin, Rizzo, and las nights pitcher, Smardzierfn0`hr0new.  And those 3 gentlemen are sorely underperforming.  

Let's talk about Jeff Samalnf3hf4rhfjk for a second.  He is supposedly the Cub's #1 pitcher, though at this point, he's pitching like a 3 or 4, and is not under a long term contract.  He got hit hard last night, and had to use a lot of pitches, 110 through 6 to be exact.  He gave up 4 walks, 6 hits, and 4 runs.  And his ERA currently stands at 4.29.  He's a competitor, and I like him, I really do, but he is a #3 starter, period.  He can show you glimpses of being better than that.  But over the long haul.  He is by no means a dominant pitcher.  He's solid, and hasn't been hurt, but he's not an Ace.  My opinion is that he's thrust himself into a leadership role, and puts too much pressure on himself to perform like an Ace, but he's not one.  This is not good, as false expectations usually lead to failure.  His job is to get guys out, period.  But he wants to be some sort of team leader, which louses up his focus on the field.  The problem is, after trading Garza and Feldman, we need him.  But we need him to be a good solid number 3, not the Ace people think he might be.  Because he's not.  He just isn't.  

As far as Wrigley goes last night, I got twisted up on Gin and Tonics, and it was cold.  As in, I had to wear my relief pitchers coat cold.  It's not even the middle of August, and I'm already cold at Wrigley.  And to make matters worse, I'm already getting my fall allergies which usually don't come until September.  Why did I move to this God Forsaken Tundra!!!????  Oh yeah, right...the Cubs....

Well, today, some folks and I will be in section 420 (smoke em if you got em) to hopefully watch the Cubs try and salvage a game out of this so far abysmal series.  A real let down after taking 2-3 from the Cardinals.  It's Arroyo vs. Rusin.  Haven't seen Rusin pitch in person yet.  So this should be cool, because he's a pretty damn good lefty.  Better than Samjjfno34hr9hf by a full point Era wise anyway.  Both teams bullpens are taxed after yesterday's extra inning fiasco, so this should be a magical afternoon for baseball.  At least it will be warmer in the daytime.  For now.  Welcome to Augtober Cubs fans.  

Damned frozen tundra of a city.....

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One of each please....

Boring Cubs Game; No Runs, No Fun!

It all started with one of the worst anthem's I've ever heard....

A waste of an anthem, a waste of a great start by Travis Wood, and a waste of 2 hours and 27 minutes by me.  Plus the 39$ I spent getting drunk at the Captain Morgans Club on Gin and Soda.  You got my 40$ Cubbies.  Wanna spend it on someone who can actually hit?  In the end, the Cubs collected 6 hits, and struck out 12 times.  And of course they lost the game 2-0.  Yawn.

The only positive I can give about this game, is that it was a beautiful night to be at Wrigley Field.  Twitter was a fine companion, and I got a ton of great pictures of the old girl as the sun set over one of the most boring games I've ever been too.  At a point, I couldn't tell if I was watching a pitchers duel, or if the Cubs just plum suck at hitting.  I think it was a little of both.  Either way, I was bored, and then drunk, and then drunk and bored.  Of all games to go to by myself....ergh...

The Sun goes down over Chicago, as Travis Wood Strikes em out!

Love Birds at Wrigley.

We coulda used Billy's bat last night...

The "D" stands for Dull...as in this game was duuuullllll.....

Night.

The only one of these buttons that actually works....

A view from the bike racks....

Billy Cub still perpetrating mascot activities....what part of "cease and desist" do you not understand?

Well, we'll just have to win tonight.  Homer Baily 7-10, 3.73 goes against Jeff Samarejbv984hr, 6-11, 4.23.  Of course, the Cubs are gonna need to score to win.  That's how baseball works.  

And tonight, the Cubs will be honoring Ernie Banks at a pregame ceremony. Ernie will be given the presidential medal of freedom.  Not sure what Ernie did except be a great guy who hit a bunch of home runs, and uttered the memorable catch phrase "Let's Play Two".  But hooray!  Maybe Obama will be a Cubs fan now because the Sox suck so bad.  

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Cubs Win the Game; Lose Players

In what will prove to be the most bittersweet "W" of the year, the Cubs beat the Phillies 5-2, with 4 of the runs coming on 2 Donnie Murphy Homers, but the Northsiders also lost 2 players in an ugly 7th inning.  Thomas Neal went down in a heap in his 1st start as a Cub with a dislocated shoulder.  (I guess we all just found out why the Yankees released him).

While Dionner Navarro, only a few minutes later was mowed over by Chase Utley for a game saving out at the plate.

Which resulted in this....

And then this....

This is the face of a man who's season might be over.  Anyone got a catcher they can spare for today's day game?

Dionner has a Right ankle sprain, no fractures thank Jeebus, and Neal's shoulder popped out.  Both injuries could have been much worse.  Think Buster Posey and his year ending broken ankle a few years back.  Either way, both these injuries are a blow to a Cubs team who has already used 50 players in this season, having sold high during the trade deadline sweepstakes.  And now, I have to listen to my mother, complain about how she doesn't know the players anymore....thanks Theo and Jed....

So, say "Welcome Back" to Julio Borbon or Dave Sappelt, and some catcher from the minors, because that's what the team's gonna be now....Ugh...not good.

But I don't want to dwell on the negative too long, because the Cubs actually won this game, thanks to Donnie Murphy's 3 run blast in the 9th inning, breaking a 2-2 tie.  In his 3rd game as a Cub, the veteran socked his second homer of the game into the Left field bleachers, knocking in what proved to be the game winning run.  You got to hand it to Theo and Jed, finding these place holders like Murphy to take over spots for injured players, and excel at the opportunity.  But my Mom still doesn't know who the hell they are...just saying...again...

Junior Lake, everybody's new favorite Cub, is also batting .333, and went 2-4 last night.  He now has 84 at bats in the bigs, which is about 1/5 of a season.  Not the smallest sample size to judge him by, but we've all seen prospects come out swinging, only to fade once the pitchers figure him out.  Lake is a free and aggressive swinger like Starlin Castro.  So just wait till the "Cubs Way" gets a hold of him, and they make him take pitches down the middle just to maybe draw a walk.  Yeah, he will probably suck then too, just like Castro sucks this year.  Batting .245 with only 7 dingers, a full 40 points lower than last year (which we all thought was his down year), and unless he goes on a tear with the home runs, he'll be lucky to hit 10, 4 less than last year.  Is Starlin a bust?

Rizzo was out of the lineup last night too.  He went 1-5 the night before and is only batting .240.  This is also not good.  It's a sad state of affairs when your catchers are batting better than your "prospects".  Unfortunately, one of those catchers bit the dust last night.  Let's hope he heals fast.  Dionner, if you read this, the Casino buffet's on me buddy...

Well, we have a good chance to win this series in Philadelphia, a city I loathe thoroughly.  Trust me, I lived there twice.  What can you say for a city whose claim to fame is a Pretzel that's not pretzel shaped, and a beef sandwich covered in Cheese Whiz?  Plus...they have the rudest fans...remember this guy?

Let's hope Shark Samarkbfoq3[4r09r can shut down the Phils' who are "throwing up". Ethan Martin, who is 0-1 with a 12.46 era.  Doesn't he look like the "barfer"?  I think so.  

Let's hope he  makes Philly fans vomit with his sickeningly bad performance against the Cubs today.  

Go Cubbies!

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