Monday, April 22, 2013

Ryan Brauns a Jerk Off; Cubs Still Terrible

After putting the losing nail in the coffin of the Cubs weekend with a 3 run homer, Ryan Braun, alleged steroid user and fish eyed jerk, flipped his bat in disgust after being called out on strikes, on what was probably ball four.  The umpiring behind the plate yesterday was pretty crappy.  Cub starter Chinstrap Feldman, was getting his strike zone squeezed for much of the game, frustrating him and causing longer innings, extra pitches, and an eventual hanging breaking ball to Ryan Braun which he proceded to knock into the upper deck.  But lets not discuss further that painful moment when I knew our sweeping in Milwaukee would come to pass.  Let's talk about the 8th inning, when Ryan Braun, not content to simply be the hero of the game, and eat the bad call and walk calmly to the dug out, felt the need to show up the umpire by flipping his bat in a childish display of unsporstamanlike conduct.  And even though I think it ridiculous that a grown ass, multi-millionaire man would act like a 5 year old in front of thousands of people, I wish he was wearing a Cubs uniform and doing jerk off crap for our team.

We were swept in milwaukee.  AND we have gone 2-17 in milwaukee since 2011.  It's horrible.  So many Cubs fans drive the 2 hours north to go watch the Cubs self destruct in a town full of mulleted Milwaukeeans, with their thin gene pool and generations of aryan alcoholism.  It's embarassing!  How does this small market team have the best hitter in the National League, and who do we have?  Castro who loves to get hits, 13 game hitting streak, but when no ones in scoring position of course.  Rizzo, or as he looks to me, Adam Dunn jr., either hits a home run or strikes out badly.  Then we got Double Play Soriano.  Dar Bar who's batting average for his week back, is not only under his weight, but also under the weight of his 8 year old daughter, .059.  Who the hell do we have in this core?  Someone like a Ryan Braun?  No.  Who's gonna step up and be awesome? We as fans should be able to say "we may have some holes to fill, but at least we have the best hitter in the league"!  I mean we came in last place in 1987, but at least we had Sandberg and Dawson, two future HOF's.  Maybe Castro will make the All Star Team this year if he can keep up the streak to an impressive number like 35, and keep his batting average over .300, but he's not gonna be voted in.  That's our bright spot? We have missers instead of catchers.  We have wild pitches, passed balls, costly errors, dozens of runners left in scoring position, an erratic bullpen, no real team speed, we give teams at least 31 or 32 outs a game, instead of 27.  And hell!  When we are on the road the home team only needs 24 outs to beat us.

I don't mind losing in rebuilding years, but what the hell are the Cubs building?  I would liken it to watching a building being put up.  First you dig a hole in the ground.  That was last year. Then you fill it with a foundation, that's this year.  If this is the kind of baseball we are building a foundation on, we are gonna have a shaky building for years to come.  this is a team capable of firing on about 1 cylinder at a time.  If our bullpen is good, we don't hit, if our hitting is good, we can't pitch.  If our pitching is good, we have terrible defense.  There's always some weakness on the team sabotaging any chance at success the Cubs may have this year.  Come on fellas!  It's only April, and I'm even more discouraged than last year.  Last year was your year to get out the kinks.  Now let's see at least a little improvement. We were terrible at fielding last year, and we are still terrible.  Come on?!  At least get beat fair and square.  This team beats themselves.  And I'm afraid to say, the Lovable losers, are becoming more like losers in my eyes.  Last year I tuned in to the games to see in what fabulously new and interesting way were they gonna lose.  I'm feeling this year to  be a horrific continuation of last year.

But they say it's always darkest before dawn.  But what do they know?

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