Sunday, April 21, 2013

Bad News Bears Give Birth to Cubs

The folly of men dressed in Cub's uniforms, attempting to play a game called baseball, continued Saturday night to a sell out crowd in Milwaukee.  Giving up 5 runs (only one of which was earned), on only 6 hits and 3 walks.  Three errors were the cause of the other 4 earned runs, by Soriano, Castro, and the pitcher Jackson himself.  In fact, the Cubs have committed  a major league leading 15 errors this season and given up 11 unearned runs.  Put these unearned runs up against our 3rd to last runs scored statistic, and you have a 2013 Cubs Ballclub that is 5-11, and well, just looks kind of crappy.  The most craptastic thing about these errors is that they are being committed by the young "stars" the Cubs are currently building their team around.  Well, maybe not Soriano.  He will be laying in a hammock listening to the game from his estate in the Dominican Republic, and playing with his grandchildren by the time the Cubs win the World series (I hope).  But Castro?  This is 3 years now we've basically watched this kid barely get better in the field.  Certainly, he has great range, and gets to a lot of balls.  But those damn easy one hoppers?  Can't quite seem to handle the routine plays.  And it's killing us.
Rizzo too looks shaky.  His error on the first batter of the game Friday night resulted in a 4 run 1st inning for the Brewers.  And last night, he bobbled a ball badly trying to step on first base.  And Edwin Jackson?  Our 52 million dollar man?  Why he chucked a ball 15 feet over second base on what could have been an inning ending double play last night.  You're just giving away the game with these stupid errors.  It's disheartening as hell.  If the errors were all being committed by Luis Valbuena, it wouldn't be as awful because he's not a building bock of the future (I hope), but rather by our stars.  I think these guys need an exorcism.  They've got the Yips as a team.  Goat head?

And our poor pitchers!  Having to make all these extra pitches, face extra batters.  It's got to be disheartening when you have little to no confidence in who is fielding behind you.  It makes you feel as if you have to strike out every batter and be damn near perfect because you have no run support anyway.  The Cubs are 3rd to last in runs scored, and walks taken, and 5th to last in hits.  The Cubs are of course first place in Wild Pitches, with 13 (5 coming in one inning), and second in passed balls.  That's a ton of runners moving around the bases, many of which shouldn't have been on base to begin with!  This team needs a serious shake up!  If things don't change, and change soon.  This season will not only be forgettable, but will leave us with a terrible taste in our mouths all winter long.  Young teams are supposed to get better little by little.  And right now, even though we have not been blown out as of yet, we look worse than last year.  Or did I just forget how bad we were?

But enough about baseball....let's talk about how drunk Milwaukee Brewers fans are...

I went to the game on Friday night up in Brew Town, checked into the local Ramada, which was jam packed with Harley Davidson fanatics from all over the world.  Apparently, they are having some biker convention.  Boy, how times have changed since "The Wild Ones"  when it comes to bikers and biker gangs.  First of all these guys are all old, fat and grizzled, and instead of dealing drugs and rough necking it, hard drinking, and loose women, the bikers now hold charity events and raise money for cancer research.  Basically, they are really good people now, and I'm the asshole that wishes they were still dangerous outlaws scaring up the straights in small town USA.  Those days seem to be long gone.
 
So, we get to the game, and a severely drunken, likely underage, girl comes stumbling up the stairs with her friends.  I mean this girl can barely stand up.  She sits down in the aisle and kind of blankly stares at a stranger as if to say, "where the fuck am I?  What is going on?"  So I see this girl needs a little help, not from me, but one of her more sober friends who got her this drunk in the first place  So I tap her friend on the shoulder and say, hey, your friend needs help.  You gotta get her outta here.  Especially with all the Bro's sitting around us who looked basically like date rapers eyeing her as a possible conquest from afar.  But instead the friend proceeds to take shit loads of pictures of herself with the same dums ass smile with all here more sober friends, she of course stylized them with some instagram filter, and posted them to facebook, and basically ignored her friend who looked as if she was gonna hurl at any second.  A sad scene.  Then this red haired girl comes up who instead of helping her basically admonishes her for her behavior.  But that doesn't help at all, yelling at the person while they're drunk.  Just ask my ex wife.  So, We left our seats to go smoke a ciggy, and when we came back an inning or 2 later, she was surrounded by cops.  So at least she was in better hands?  Who knows?  Either way....kinda ugly scene...she showed up in the first inning like that....

I also witnessed a Brewer fan homoerotically pantomime face fucking his Cub Fan friend after the Brewers scored a run. He was one of the "date rapers" I tracked earlier.  And while at the Brewers little patio bar, a Black eyed Broham elbowed my friend in the back, and instead of apologizing for it, tried to start a fight with us.  I redirected his sloppy ire and diffused the situation, and I wish I had this on tape, but he was describing himself, and the evening he was having, and he said something to the effect of..."My friends, they were like, lets go out, and we can do something, and I'm like, yeah man, I don't really care, whatever".  I just said, well, you sound like a man who knows what he wants out of life.  And quickly left the conversation and the area.

All in all, and I've been twice now, Miller Park is tolerable on a sunny day with the roof open, and a dark chasm of drunken date rapers on a Friday night.  Hey, at least they let you smoke.

After that we went to the Casino.  BTW.  They have free shuttles all around Miller Park that can get you close to where you're going.  I won a little money on a slot, my friend lost, so we left.  All in all, meh, I prefer the Indiana boats.  Potawotami Casino is trying to be Vegas, and they totally forgot that they are in shitty ass Milwaukee and a bunch of cheesers.  Hey Milwaukee, you're not cool and you look stupid trying.

So, what do we have to look forward to today?  Little Chinstrap "I don't know how to cover first base" Feldman vs.  Wily Peralta.  Ugh...I just don't have a good feeling about this....not at all....

But...
Go Cubbies!!!!

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